some things i don't understand....

-why central heat and air didn't catch on all over the world.  america, you are awesome....if judged only by this one thing...you are awesome.
-why i moved to a country that doesn't have the poison control center right after having the child that i need poison control center for the most!
-why pizza hut isn't world wide
-why ella repeatedly climbs on top of the kitchen counters even after being punished....repeatedly.
-why my dogs drool on me
-why everyone isn't as addicted to naturalnews.com as i am
-why everyone doesn't have a ferocious appetite for reading
-why i am the only one in my house that can find anything....
-how piles of stuff end up all over my house that i don't know what to do with....
-why griffin loves to pee outside so much
-why target isn't world wide....
-why anyone would not be interested in politics...it shapes and defines our nations and our children's future
-why they call them swimming costumes here instead of swimsuits
-why griffin won't say the boy wearing the black shirt instead of saying the black boy.  it's not really inter-changable
-how i could get one dog so smart and the other one so the exact opposite of smart from the same litter.
-why sometimes my water is brown
-why ella has loved spicy food since the day she first started eating
-why my kids have to argue the entire time they clean the kitchen....
-why mcdonalds IS world wide....

getting older

getting older

this blog goes along with the previous one concerning mentoring.  so while it may not fit in the category of comedy...as much of my life seems to...it’s still worth mentioning.  

as a mom of 4 children, one of which is an almost 10 year old girl.  i find myself contemplating a lot about what i want for her to learn from me.  for some women, what they want for their daughters to learn from them, includes things like cooking, how to care for her family, getting a good education, learning to sew, a love of reading, being independent, being confident....the list could go on and on....

what i want for my daughter, what i want for my children....i want them to enjoy the stage of life that they are in.  i want them to take joy in the process.  i want them to be observant and comfortable enough with who they are and what they know, that they they can enjoy every stage...every season.  not to wish any of it away, or wish that they could go back.  i want them to be wise enough to make decisions that don’t cause pain.  i want them to have wisdom to see that when they age....they should attain wisdom with each and every passing day.  i want my daughters to see that i don’t mourn the 110 lb, 26 year old woman i used to be.  the woman who didn’t know then what i do know now.  i want my daughter to see that i am happy with who God made me to be for today, for yesterday, for tomorrow.  i want to age in such a way that my wisdom, my experience, my knowledge is seen.  

before we left the states, i had become troubled by so many women around me.  women who seemed to be in competition with their daughters over attention.  women who desired more to be their daughters’ friends than their mentors.  we should not be so caught up with our own insecurities that we are unable to mentor our daughters through theirs.  insecurity should never be a trait that we pass down to our children.  but until we are confident in who we are, in who we have been created to be, in WHAT we have been created to be....we will do just that.  

yes, i’m 36 now.  yes, i weigh more than 110 lbs.  no, everything isn’t in the same place it was 10 years and 2 kids ago.  BUT...BUT i now walk in more compassion, i am politically aware, i can say i’m sorry easier than i could back then, i’m a better worship leader, i’m a better mom, i hold loved ones more closely, i have been hurt...and learned from it, i have made mistakes....and learned from them, i have learned to walk in EVEN MORE faith than before, i have learned to trust God even more than before, i have learned to light a match without being scared, i’ve become so much better on the piano, i’m better with money, i’ve learned to live with dogs for crying out loud!  every year, every day is a growing up experience.  an experience that we can share with our children, an experience that we can use to make us better moms, wives, daughters, sisters, friends.... don’t despise getting older.  embrace the years that God’s given you. the years that have made you smarter, wiser, a better friend, a better listener, a better giver, a better person.  

what do i want olivia and ella to learn from me? i want them to learn to love every stage that life brings them.  i want them to embrace it with wild, crazy passion!   i want them to love being 9 and 2.  i want them to ignore friends who tear them down.  i want them to see jealousy for what it is.  i want them to never say a bad word about anyone.  i want them to be kind to everyone.  i want them to value intelligence. i want them to embrace their femininity.  i want them to love being little girls. i want them to love being women.  i want them to love every stage in between.  i want them to love the vibrance of youth and the wisdom of old age.  to never wish any of it away.  everyone gets older...why fight it?  doesn’t it make more sense to use it not only to our advantage, but to the advantage of those who are coming up after us? 

mentoring

mentoring

while i don’t consider myself to be that old...i figure being closer to 40 than to 30 puts me ahead of a lot of women out there.  a friend of mine and i were discussing the passage in the bible that tells the older women to mentor the younger women.  i don’t usually consider myself to be someone who has great insight as to what the bible says.  or someone who can articulate it well anyway.  but that doesn’t remove my responsibility.  so here it goes.

in my 36 years, there is one thing that pretty much drives me crazy.  it’s how i determine someone’s spiritual age.  it’s how i determine those who i will allow to be close to me.  it’s how i determine who i trust.  it’s gossip.  when i hear it, i will likely not be good friends with the person doing it.  why?  because i don’t trust my name...in their mouth.  if someone will talk about other people to you, they will talk about you to other people.  and that, i just don’t care for.  the other reason i don’t like to be around gossips... they make it easier to gossip.  and i don’t want to gossip!  i feel convicted about gossiping.  i am suppose to feel convicted about gossip.  gossip is wrong.  it makes me uncomfortable.  it should make everyone uncomfortable.  

moving on,  while it may or may not be considered gossip.  i don’t like it when people tell  someone else’s business.  or when someone else tells my business.  a few years back i decided that if it’s not my story to tell....then i’m not going to tell it.  IT’S NOT MY NEWS TO TELL!  i know people who seem to thrive on being the first to tell everyone’s news.  good, bad or otherwise.  i don’t want to be that person.  just because i know things...doesn’t mean i have to tell things.  i promise, being the person that doesn’t share other people’s business...will get you in a lot less trouble.  some may say, if it’s good news, it’s ok.  as a general rule, i tend to disagree.  if that person wants everyone to know....they will tell everyone.  in the mean time, our best bet is to be quiet.  

i realize that sometimes things come out of our mouths that shouldn’t.  for some of us more than others.  the important thing is that we are aware of when we have said something we shouldn’t have.  DON’T JUSTIFY IT!  just plead guilty, ask forgiveness, and DON’T do it again! 

it's been a big 3 weeks...

in the last 3 weeks many things have gone on:

-we hosted our first “team” here in swaziland.

-it was great...seeing friends and family, the services, the work that went on, the suitcases full of things from the states.  it.was.awesome.

-some other friends came to visit from the states.

-they brought more suitcases.  

-there were tears of joy and i sang the hallelujah chorus.

-i really do know the hallelujah chorus....i learned in high school choir....my teacher wanted me to sing with the sopranos all the way through...but there were parts that were painful...so i didn’t when he wasn’t listening.  guilty.

-my friends made me a birthday cake...because it was my birthday while they were here.  

-they also bought me flowers.

-we ate chinese food...at the restaurant...that was nice...because i didn’t want to do dishes on my birthday. 

-i hate doing dishes.

-i hadn’t given any thought to the fact that they don’t have automatic dishwashers here.

-they do not have automatic dishwashers here.

-it was devastating.

-i don’t know if i still would have come had i known...

-my friends, olivia and i went zip lining.  

-the guy snapped the skin of my neck into the helmet clasp.  

-i guess that’s when he realized i needed the extra large helmet from the “special” room.

-i knew i would need a larger than average helmet  as i observed everyone getting geared up.

-i knew because i was having memories of the cap and gown company measuring everyone’s head for graduation whenever i was in high school.

-it’s tough having the biggest head in the class.  i thought it was my spiral perm at the time...but now i’m just not so sure.

-the next day my friends left....and i cried.  it was very sad.

-the day after that we left for a speaking engagement in mozambique.  

-it was a long, long, long drive.  

-i cannot describe how long this drive was.

-there were no restaurants.  

-there were few gas stations.

-we survived on chips, bread and soda for 3 days.  

-it was all we could find.

-we should have learned portuguese before we left. 

-ella tried to speak to the church people in siswati.  

-she was confused when they didn’t all laugh and ooh and aww over her.  

-you could see the confusion as she thought to herself, “man, that usually wows a crowd!”

-i became closer to the Lord as i prayed that none of us would get malaria.

-we will know in 9 days if we have malaria...

-now i shall begin cooking for thanksgiving....without a dishwasher...and hopefully without malaria, too.  

conversions, close calls, and an egg....

-i almost ran over 3 pedestrians today....

-one of them had to actually run to get out of my way. 

-i hate it when you are hitting the gas pedal, but really trying hard to get your foot over to the brake pedal....but it won't get there fast enough...and then it gets caught underneath the brake pedal...

-i felt badly about coming so close to hitting that man.

-i think you shouldn't walk in front of cars whose driver is looking the other direction....as a general rule... 

-why sneak up on a driver like that? 

-i saw two dead, bloated cows on our way home from johannesburg this weekend.

-olivia asked her friends in ballet if they spoke french today. when they in turn started speaking siswati...olivia just blurted out the word oeuf....which is the french word for egg.  

-egg?

-of all the words.....

-griffin and ella found a barbie....and a pair of scissors...and they played beautician.

-in the states, olivia’s ballet teacher wouldn’t let her wear a skirt over her leotard until she was 8 years old....she stopped taking ballet at 7.   

-i’m having a hard time driving on the left side of the road while at the same time going through intersections that have 7 different directions that you can go, knowing what a stoplight says that the red and/or green light bulbs are not working, not hitting pedestrians that are forever running out in front of my car, not hitting cows that are forever walking in front of my car, not hitting goats that are forever walking in front of my car, and remembering where all of the speed bumps are....because Lord knows they are not marked.

-olivia feels confident saying egg in french.  8 weeks of french...and egg is her word of choice.  

-egg?

-i am grateful barbie was who griffin and ella played beautician on....i would cry if one of ella’s pig tails was suddenly missing.

-olivia’s ballet teacher in swaziland only lets little girls under age 8 wear skirts over their leotards...olivia is now 9....

-olivia is beyond sad by this misfortune...

-i still don’t know the exact conversions for celsius and fahrenheit.  

- i do know that in the teens it’s chilly, but tolerable. in the 20’s it’s very nice.  in the 30’s it’s very hot.  in the single digits....i want to go back to the states where my house had heat. 

-when the doctor said griffin’s temp was 36....that really didn’t mean anything to me...

-we had to board our dogs for this weekend because we are going on our team retreat in south africa.  

-the dogs were very scared....there was much trembling... and peeing.  

-i feel badly for the dogs...

-i feel badly for the truck in which they were riding.

-i’ve never seen a bloated cow before....only bloated armadillo...

-bloated armadillo are less disturbing....well, i don’t know...it’s a toss up...

the dogs....

the dogs...

i’m pretty sure we should have taken a seminar on rearing dogs before we ever made our way to the swaziland humane society.  does anyone know if they offer a “growing dogs God’s way” class at a local church near me?  the dogs don’t mind.  they don’t behave.  they are completely out of control.  they jump on everyone that comes through our gate.  they lick.  they dig...oh good grief do they ever dig.  they try to get into the house.  they get into the trash.  they bark at inappropriate times and they smell.  they eat $100 worth of dog food a month....and they are not even half grown.  the situation is out of hand.  

griffin and ella love the dogs.  they LOVE the dogs.  tonight when we got home from taking olivia to ballet, as we were driving into the drive way...ella says, “hey doggies, i’m home.”  if you are carrying ella...you may as well have a target on your entire body.  the dogs love her.  they want to eat her as badly as i do.  they must have felt her squooshy goodness.  they lick her hands, they lick her toes, they just cannot get enough.  and she giggles and giggles, putting out her little hands in hopes that they will come and taste her yummy preciousness.  which, of course, they do.  blech....  griffin spent the entire day in the backyard with the dogs.  he even put a show on for them...complete with song and dance.  it was around that time the dogs went into the front yard.  he chased them down and continued his entertainment.  they were thrilled he had found them.  not really.  at one point i went outside to find griffin sitting on the ground with ranger wrapped around him, wagging his tail, and enjoying the company.  i’m pretty sure they had been in conversation before i walked up.  which leads me to my latest doggie frustration.  the dogs talk.  not english...it’s bark.  i’m not crazy.  but they bark back.  as in, they talk back.  when they get in trouble, they talk back.  at first it was just ranger, but then maverick saw him getting away with it, and now they both do it.  ranger has authority issues.  and maverick is just such a follower.  he needs to stand up and be his own dog.  

and so here i am.  blogging about my dogs.  this is what it has come to....

it was a lovely day...

today i was awakened by my alarm going off at the usual 5:20....heaven help me.  i woke up and read my emails, most of which aren't usually all that interesting.  of course pioneerwoman's blog was funny, and it woke me up enough to go ahead and get out of bed.  her and her spanx...seriously, is there anything funnier?  so anyway, i got into my workout clothes, because it's circuit training day and all.  blech...i hate it as bad as the kids do, but i can't let them know that.  they would probably capitalize on it and try to get me to change my mind even more than i already want to.  they can never know when i'm wavering on something.  it must stay internal!  these cadbury thighs aren't going to go away on their own.  trust me, i've prayed about it....but they're still there.  i wonder if they have spanx in africa?

anyway, we did school..... most of it.   but it's music day, so we had to leave at noon to get to class on time.  we got in the car with 30 minutes to drive our roughly 25 minute drive.  that's when i realized i didn't have enough gas to make it.  i promptly called randy and let him know how i felt about his leaving me with no gas in the vehicle.  it was a loving conversation.  one which involved me screaming hysterically and him laughing....also quite hysterically.  the bigger problem was i that i didn't have any money.  how am i suppose to get gas with no money?  atm cards aren't exactly an option here.  so i immediately had hudson start going through my purse trying to find enough money to get some gas.  he located enough, and so the world didn't end.  although now we were behind schedule.  i hate being late.  the lesson is only like 15 minutes...being late makes it hardly worth going.  so we were on our way.  i was speeding a little here and there, but it's a very winding and hilly ride.  speeding is a challenge.  it's up hill, very few cars in front you can even go the speed limit.  the road makes you feel like you could fall off at any moment....so on and so forth.  but when we got into town, i decided to make up a little lost time.  unfortunately, there were police waiting around the bend.  i was going 11 kilometers over the speed limit.  that's like 5 mph.  i would have never been stopped in the states.  and i told him....sir, i've been driving for almost 20 years,  and i have NEVER gotten a speeding ticket!  in fact, i have never even been pulled over.  he told me to pay 60.  of course i didn't have enough money to pay 60.  seeing as to how i had just had to dig through my purse for gas money and all!  he laughed, he gave me a ticket, and i was on my way.  i was 3 minutes late to piano lessons.  not bad all things considered.

i made chicken fajitas tonight.  i'm tired of making tortillas.  honest to goodness, i don't care if i ever make another tortilla again as long as i live.  i also chased the dogs all the way around the house trying to get griffin's tennis shoe from them.  i scrubbed almost the entire length of our hallway this morning because ella found a crayon while i was doing dishes.  and the mystery of why the water coming out of our faucets is suddenly dirty has still not been solved.  i've had to boil water to do dishes.  i'm starting to feel like i'm the pioneerwoman.