getting older

getting older

this blog goes along with the previous one concerning mentoring.  so while it may not fit in the category of comedy...as much of my life seems to...it’s still worth mentioning.  

as a mom of 4 children, one of which is an almost 10 year old girl.  i find myself contemplating a lot about what i want for her to learn from me.  for some women, what they want for their daughters to learn from them, includes things like cooking, how to care for her family, getting a good education, learning to sew, a love of reading, being independent, being confident....the list could go on and on....

what i want for my daughter, what i want for my children....i want them to enjoy the stage of life that they are in.  i want them to take joy in the process.  i want them to be observant and comfortable enough with who they are and what they know, that they they can enjoy every stage...every season.  not to wish any of it away, or wish that they could go back.  i want them to be wise enough to make decisions that don’t cause pain.  i want them to have wisdom to see that when they age....they should attain wisdom with each and every passing day.  i want my daughters to see that i don’t mourn the 110 lb, 26 year old woman i used to be.  the woman who didn’t know then what i do know now.  i want my daughter to see that i am happy with who God made me to be for today, for yesterday, for tomorrow.  i want to age in such a way that my wisdom, my experience, my knowledge is seen.  

before we left the states, i had become troubled by so many women around me.  women who seemed to be in competition with their daughters over attention.  women who desired more to be their daughters’ friends than their mentors.  we should not be so caught up with our own insecurities that we are unable to mentor our daughters through theirs.  insecurity should never be a trait that we pass down to our children.  but until we are confident in who we are, in who we have been created to be, in WHAT we have been created to be....we will do just that.  

yes, i’m 36 now.  yes, i weigh more than 110 lbs.  no, everything isn’t in the same place it was 10 years and 2 kids ago.  BUT...BUT i now walk in more compassion, i am politically aware, i can say i’m sorry easier than i could back then, i’m a better worship leader, i’m a better mom, i hold loved ones more closely, i have been hurt...and learned from it, i have made mistakes....and learned from them, i have learned to walk in EVEN MORE faith than before, i have learned to trust God even more than before, i have learned to light a match without being scared, i’ve become so much better on the piano, i’m better with money, i’ve learned to live with dogs for crying out loud!  every year, every day is a growing up experience.  an experience that we can share with our children, an experience that we can use to make us better moms, wives, daughters, sisters, friends.... don’t despise getting older.  embrace the years that God’s given you. the years that have made you smarter, wiser, a better friend, a better listener, a better giver, a better person.  

what do i want olivia and ella to learn from me? i want them to learn to love every stage that life brings them.  i want them to embrace it with wild, crazy passion!   i want them to love being 9 and 2.  i want them to ignore friends who tear them down.  i want them to see jealousy for what it is.  i want them to never say a bad word about anyone.  i want them to be kind to everyone.  i want them to value intelligence. i want them to embrace their femininity.  i want them to love being little girls. i want them to love being women.  i want them to love every stage in between.  i want them to love the vibrance of youth and the wisdom of old age.  to never wish any of it away.  everyone gets older...why fight it?  doesn’t it make more sense to use it not only to our advantage, but to the advantage of those who are coming up after us?