sleep deprivation

i've determined that i may be suffering from sleep deprivation.  here are some of the signs that have led me to such a diagnosis.

-it took me 3 minutes to think of the word deprivation.
-it took me another minute and a half to spell it.
-i tried to unscrew the lid on my toothbrush instead of the lid of my toothpaste....because i do not have a lid on my toothbrush, this resulted in my being freaked out momentarily.
-i can drink a cup of coffee, hot tea, and/or a soda right before bed, and still fall asleep within seconds.
-i wake up almost every morning having no recollection of getting into bed.
- i often fall asleep on the couch after dinner while all 4 children yell, wrestle, and jump on/around me.
-i stare at people speaking to me.  i hear what they are saying, but i cannot understand a word.
-i try to put dishes in the fridge, and milk in the pantry.
-when i fall asleep on the couch with the kids all around me.....i actually get to the state of sleep where i dream.
-i can make a bottle, sippy cup, change a diaper, and dispense tylenol without ever opening my eyes.  wait, that can't be good.  never  mind about the tylenol thing.  you never read that.

the one thing...

i've never felt in competition with people around me.  this is mostly because i'm not competitive.  i don't care if you play sports, any sports, better than i do.  and while i wish i were a better housekeeper....it isn't something to be jealous over.  i've come to terms with the fact that i do not possess the gene that says, "clean that up before you go to bed!" and while i wish i could sew or crochet the wonderful things that some of my friends do....i have also come to realize that my lack of attention to detail, or care for that matter,  prevents me from doing these things well.  oh the yarn i have purchased before coming to terms with this.  i will post a picture of my gigantic hat or lopsided blankets and scarves sometime, for all who want a good laugh.  but for now, i will continue writing on the one thing that seems to be getting under my skin as it relates to comparison to other people.

 i struggle with my cooking.  i like my cooking, but often, my family does not.  which could mean one of two things.  either i do not make good food,  or my family has bad taste buds.  i realize some of my own challenges/laziness could be reasons for my food not always working out.  for one, as a general rule, i prefer to use recipes that call for around 6 ingredients or less....preferably the less.  too many ingredients make me feel out of control, and like i'm about to embark on a journey that i do not have time to finish.  the other problem may very well be that i struggle to follow directions exactly.  i tend to get bored or distracted when reading a long instruction....it's possible i should be on medication for this.  another issue i've noticed is that after cooking something a few times, i tend to forget things, thus making the outcome not as yummy as it once was.  for instance, i use to make delicious chicken enchiladas with sour cream sauce.  it wasn't until recently i realized that the recipe calls for pecans, onions, and cumin....all things i have accidentally stopped putting into the enchiladas over the years.  and then i wonder why no one wants to eat them anymore....um, because they have gradually become almost tasteless perhaps???

all this to say, i would love to be an awesome cook....  i spend hours a day in the kitchen cooking.  since we have been homeschooling hudson and olivia, i even cook something for lunch most days.  i make dinner every night that we are home...which is about 6 nights a week.  i actually really enjoy it!  and yet, i feel my food is inferior to many of my dear friends.  sure, i make good brownies.  i really know how to pick the box out at the grocery store!  i do add a little somethin' somethin' to them that makes them special...but i just pick a bag of it up at the store as well.  i only say this about my brownies because any time i talk about my cooking...those seem to be the shining star in my recipe repertoire.


on a side note, i have become quite faithful to the gym.  almost every day i go...and yes, i even run.  i am running a mile!  it's big for me.....don't laugh.  i can do it without breathing hard or my side hurting, too!  but even with my new found discipline, i am not losing weight.  in fact, i think i've gained a few lbs.  i'm pretty sure it is because i eat cookies before i go....so as to not get hungry at the gym.  and then i eat cookies after i get home from the gym...you know, because i'm almost hungry from working out.  i guess i make good cookies, too.  well, at least they are to me.

"reasons" i don't always go to the gym.

"reasons" i don't always go to the gym.

-i have no clean socks....which also serves as an annoying reminder that i need to do laundry.
-i cook with a giant iron skillet almost every day...who needs weights?
-i run up my stairs at least 50 times a day because i forgot what i needed when i went up there in the first place.
-my wrist hurts....probably a running injury.
-the gym smells weird...like plastic and rubber or something.
-time stands still when i'm there....i don't like it when time stands still....
-i have no clean gym pants...which again serves as an annoying reminder that i need to do laundry.
-i hate how i run and run, but never get any where...
(i don't really run and run...i kind of just sort of run for a short time)
-my cheap earphones shock me when i plug them into the treadmill.
-i feel like it goes against how we were created to keep our bodies in shape...which was to work the land....i need some land to work....i don't really like being outside though...
-i don't want to pull any muscles.
-all those mirrors bother me.
-i can't find a rubber band for my hair.

i am aware these are not real reasons, but rather excuses.  blech...