from hater of dogs to......to hater of dogs who owns two dogs....

*sigh*
i dislike dogs.  all dogs.  i do not want any part of any dog.  i never have.  i do not like to be licked.  i do not like to be jumped on.  and i think dogs' paws hurt when they touch me.  i do not like the bellies of dogs....they freak me out something awful.  i do not like dogs' mouths...they freak me out as well.  dogs smell.  all dogs smell.  every owner of a dog will say, "my dogs don't stink."  and i will politely smile.  all the while thinking to myself, "yes, your dog does stink...you just can't smell it any more."  all dogs stink.  they stink badly.  they make everything around them stink.  i will never understand why it's ok for a dog to poop outside (hopefully),  and then come into a house and crawl around on the carpet, or the furniture, or God forbid...and i wince at this thought....sleep in a bed.  YIKES!  i just cannot get past it.  i just cannot.  that dog did not wipe.  that dog did not have a bath.  that dog is not wearing pants!  there is nothing between its pooper and your couch.  and that's how i see it.  but let me also state for the record...it is everyone's right to have a dog.  you can have all of the dogs you want.  love them, lounge with them, sleep with them if you want to.  it's your life, it's your home.  but please don't try to convince me that it's ok.  for me, it is not ok.  i do not like dogs.  and there is no way that anyone will convince me  that they are great.  for me, they are not great.  they are not great at all.  i hate dogs.

sadly, and i mean very sadly... i agreed to the fact that we needed dogs here in africa for protection.  that's right, i have officially given up everything in pursuit of God's will.  heaven help me.  i feel like i have nothing else to cleave to as my own in natural terms.  all of me is dead.  there is no more flesh of dezra.  i am purely a spiritual being at this point.  well, at least that's how i feel every time i go outside and SMELL DOG!  there is nothing left that was once dezra.  i left it all at the swaziland animal humane society.

so we picked up two dogs and brought them home.  one was feisty.  one was stand-offish.  they are brothers.  we named them ranger and maverick...we wanted to be true to our texas roots.  their names fit them well enough.  they are puppies, so they are cute.  but they are dogs....so they won't be cute forever.  after observing their behavior for over a week now, i have come to the conclusion that dogs are just as gross as i thought they were.  no, they are even more gross.  ranger and maverick do things to themselves and to each other that i did not know dogs did.  i am appalled.  i cannot believe these things are taking place in my yard.  *sigh*

i will take care of these dogs.  i will feed them, i will give them water, and when i am in their vicinity, i will pet the tops of their backs....as that is the only part of a dog that does not give me the heeby-geebies. i still smell them...and it still smells badly.  it smells like dog.

having said all of this,  they do bark.... they even growl.  and so if that keeps away the prowlers...then i guess all of the afore mentioned activities and/or aromas will be overlooked.  don't look for dezra to become an animal lover.  don't look for the freemans to purchase any dogs when we are back in the states.  it will not happen.  only missionary dezra can come to terms with this arrangement.  normal dezra would never do such a thing. never. ever. ever......

we are loud americans....

really, we aren't loud americans....we are louder americans.  louder than most everyone in america.  i laugh loud.  the rest of my family talks loud.  my children "whisper" loud....and so does randy.  i know a couple of families louder than us, i will not mention their names here.  but really, i'm standing right here, you don't have to yell.  if you ask me if you are the "louder than us" family, i will not say.  just so you know.

anyway, it's been a bit weird here because our kids speak so loudly....and we aren't quiet either.  children in this culture are mostly seen and not heard.  they don't make a peep.  not in church, not in the grocery store, not when they are shopping....they just don't speak.  my children, however, do.  they also yell, cry, whine, and make other various noises.  between their loudness and the double stroller (no one has one here), we are quite a spectacle at the local shopping center.  it's just wonderful....

so we received and invitation to dinner with some of the most amazing people in swaziland.  for those of you who have been here, you would know their name if i told it to you.  these people are amazing.  dinner with their family?  we would love to!  let's get a babysitter for griffin and ella!  well, that didn't work out, so off to dinner we went, with loudy mcloudy pants and his little sister loudy britches, in tow.  the first 10 minutes went well.  i was sitting down, not chasing down, our two youngest children.  i thought to myself, this might work out.  they have 2 sets of coasters.  the kids love to play with coasters!  and that is true.  they do.....for about 10 minutes.   so this family has a british accent.  i know they told us where all they were from, but what with all the chasing, the giving dirty looks, and the threatening talk i was giving griffin and ella in their ears where no one else could hear, i didn't quite catch where they were from originally.  back to the british accent.  these people speak quietly.  they use fewer words.  they sit up straight, and use phrases that i don't understand.  i've never been in such a quiet atmosphere.  not in a home anyway.  not somewhere besides a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant.  there were so many of us in the room eating, talking, even laughing a little...and yet, not much noise.

anyway, they had an indoor dog.  the dog was lovely, no licking or jumping...which pretty much makes it the best dog ever, in my book.  it was small, an appropriate size for indoor dogginess.  and the kids loved it.  they loved petting (hitting)  her, stepping on her tail, poking her in her eyes.  the dog was not nearly as impressed with their presence as they were with hers.

and so it was time for dinner to begin.  spaghetti noodles, fish, cheese sauce, onions, peas, broccoli, and a tomato sauce for the kids.  of course being the incredibly wise person that i am, i opted out of the tomato sauce for ella....as we are eating on a white tablecloth over light colored carpet.  awesome.  ella refuses to be fed, she likes to do it herself.  she has questionable aim.  but even with my foresight on the tomato sauce, the mess was hard to deny.  it was difficult to hide.  ella had eaten there for sure...and there wasn't anything i could do about it.  so as the adults continued to talk and to eat, griffin and ella got down to play with the dog.  the dog who went under the table to get away from them.  the dog who lured them under the table to play.  the table was long, and i got to see everyone's faces as my two little ones crawled over their feet to get the dog.  (we have got to get a dog just so they aren't such a flipping big deal when the kids see one!!!) it was wonderful....and so very very uncomfortable....  fortunately, i have long arms, i was able to grab their feet and pull them out.  at least they didn't cry....

then there was dessert.  to which griffin said, "this smells bad." what a lovely child...
not long after the dessert "episode", griffin got his finger caught in a door and began whaling... loudly, at the top of his very large and healthy lungs... uncontrollable sobbing.  this went on for several minutes.  to which the most amazing, quiet talking, british speaking, admirable man in swaziland replied, "i think the kids have reached their expiration date." .....so awesome....

i wish i could say the night ended on a high note,  but griffin wasn't finished.  he completed the evening with an accident in his trousers....i'm picking up on the british accent.  not really, i just like that word.  trousers. trousers.  i'm saying it with a british accent.  which, by the way, people here do not think it's particularly cute when you try to speak with a british accent and you are not british.  poor olivia found that out one day at church...