when it's possible that your babies are too close together...

you know your babies may be too close together when:
-you call them "the babies" and they are not twins.
-they can share pacifiers.
-they can share diapers.
-the babies have to wait in line to get their diaper changed.
-they can share sippy cups.



-you have not had a good night's sleep in almost 3 years....4 1/2 if you count pregnancy.
-you do the math to make sure they are not going to be in the same grade.
-you foresee breaking them of the paci at the same time.



-you are able to buy the same car seat for the younger one that you bought for the older one because the store still sells the same make and model....in the same color.
-you never stopped using the diaper bag between children.
-the maternity clothes were still hanging in the closet.



-you are confident they will be able to share a car when they turn 16.
-you get to laugh at children walking like drunken sailors one right after another.
-you get to hold another brand new baby in your arms sooner when they are close together.
-about the time one kid grows out of the cute toddler talk...you have another one to replace it.
-you get to see the wonder of the christmas tree lights with two little ones at the same time.
-you get to watch them dance together.



-you have two children that will sing and dance with you at the same time.  instead of one that thinks you're cool and another that has outgrown your silly shenanigans.
-you can use baby food you didn't use the first time around...but kept just in case.  i'm kidding...

it's hard work, i'm exhausted most of the time.  but my goodness, these babies are a lot of fun!

the great real or fake debate

well, the christmas tree is up.  we have a fake tree.  i use to be ashamed of my fake trees, but now i have the most beautiful fake tree on the planet....so i'm not ashamed anymore.  well, i am a little....i have a strand of lights that are out.  and like everything else, do i really want to replace something that i just have to sell in a few months? not really, as i am a very practical person...so i will just have a strand of lights out.   it's a pre lit tree....thus the noticeable strand.

the fake tree was one of those marital compromises.  i had grown up with a fake tree for most of my childhood, where i seem to remember an ongoing "discussion" between my mom and dad over fake verses real....my dad seemingly the winner.  but as a teenager i recall real trees. well, real trees until my mom had this unbelievable skin reaction to something in the house which we eventually narrowed down to the real christmas tree.  since then they've been using a silver tree that has lights shining on it, and is quite another story for another day.

 anyway, when we got married, i was determined to make real christmas trees the tradition.  i had high hopes.  but i did not have the ability to carry heavy things....like, oh, say, christmas trees.  and randy was diabolically opposed to the real christmas tree.  something about needles on the floor and it turning brown and some other mumbo jumbo.  he refused.  and so, being the wonderful and submissive wife that i am,  i bought some horrible looking 5 foot fake tree for our first christmas.  and used it again for the 2nd.  and again for the 3rd.  finally we had hudson and i was resolved that he would experience the joys of a beautiful real tree.  i begged randy for days, and weeks, and eventually we made it to some builders supply place that was the only store in the county left with a real tree.  it was ugly.  it was short.  it was crooked.  it was not at all what i had hoped.  i vacuumed needles endlessly.  it took me forever to get a certain someone to get it out of my house once christmas was over.  it was very dead.  it didn't take apart into 3 pieces....so i could not take down by myself.  the choice was clear.  i either had to buff up and develop the muscle strength to both get my real tree in the house and back out....or i had to succumb to the fake tree fate that i was so obviously destined for.

i'm happy to say that 7 years ago, upon the purchase of my beautiful, 9 foot tall, pre lit tree.   i embraced the fake tree christmas.   there has been peace in our home.  there are no needles to vacuum.  i can take the tree down myself the day after new years......and i do.

some of my favorite things

-the chubby hands of my toddlers patting my back as i hold them.
-sheets fresh from the dryer.
- griffin saying he's two.......when strangers ask him his name.
-when hudson hugs me good night.
-junior mints
-when someone...anyone, but me, vacuums the floor.
-when ella yells at me while standing at the gate at the kitchen wanting food.
-when olivia runs to the aid of her little sister....without being told.
-hearing hudson write songs on the piano.
-when olivia gets a decorating idea....it's a love/hate thing actually...
-when randy is smarter than me....which is a good deal of the time....thank goodness!
-chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.
-when my family likes what i cook for dinner.
-a clean house.
-hudson's sense of humor.
-when olivia hugs me good night.
-pizza...all pizza, all the time....
-taking pictures of my kids.
-chips and salsa
-starbucks with friends until late at night.
-ella dancing.
-reading.
-olivia's fashion sense.
-griffin singing at the top of his lungs.
-roaming around target by myself.
-christmas shopping for my kids.
-when randy teaches.
-when griffin hugs me good night.
-shopping with olivia.
-when randy really does lol.
-when hudson reads me his essays, short stories, and anything else he writes.
-sonny with a chance....i just can't help it!
-kissing ella good night.
-when ella shakes her head yes or no to a question.
-pumpkin spice muffins.
-my mom's coconut lime cake....oh.my.goodness.
-when people's eyes get huge after i tell them we have 4 kids.   4 is the new 2....it really is ok!

can i get a stand in, please?

seriously, i would rather do anything but take a shower.  i hate taking a shower.  it is such a waste of time.  well, you know except for the whole needing to be clean thing.  it's so boring.  the same thing, day after day....think about it....it's rare that one finds something "new" in the shower.  i just laughed a little.

anyway, my kids have been sick.  sickness is sad for a few days.  you feel sorry for them.  you try to be a little more kind to them.  but by day 5,  it's over.  just get well already!  unfortunately, this particular sickness lasted 11 days!  i took them to the doctor on day 9 thinking that he could surely do something about my dreadful situation.  nope.  nope he could not.  2 more days of whining.  2 more days of grumpiness.  and now we are left with lingering coughs that last who knows how long.  welcome to the holidays.  whoo hoo!

ella still refuses to say, "momma."  she did however say, "chase."  chase is her favorite cousin.  she adores him.  he gave her a googley eyeball to play with.  you know the kind you glue on crafts.  she carried it around for hours.  she fell asleep with it in her hand.  it was her most precious treasure.  i'm just trying to figure out why chase had that googley eye in the first place....

olivia wanted a glass of water the other day.  i was doing the dishes and she couldn't get to the faucet.  she decided to fill a glass with ice and put it in the microwave.  she is forever doing things like this....why?

i'm currently looking for a few things.  a camera chord that attaches my camera to my computer,  the sustain pedal that goes with my keyboard, and a person who will take my showers for me so i have back that 10 minutes everyday.  

that is all.   good night.

superman, colons, cupcakes and glue.

hudson's first birthday.

we had decided to make it a family occasion.  nothing big and fancy....we weren't that kind of people.  we decided on a superman theme.  i ordered the cake to be made professionally.  probably days before the party.  then i bought out the red food coloring at the grocery store.  i made his personal cake myself.  i spent HOURS on it.  i cut it in the shape of the superman emblem.   he wore a superman outfit.  there were decorations.  the grandparents were there.  aunt staci was there.  his great uncle jerry and aunt cindy were there.  there was other food besides the cake.  nothing flashy, like things that could be considered hors d'oeuvers, but extra food nonetheless.  we even put a little fake superman  tattoo on his arm.  we were cool parents.  there were gifts.  lots and lots of gifts.  the day had been in the making for quite some time.  we had planned it.  we had prepared for it.  we had quite a birthday party!

olivia's first birthday.

we once again decided to go with the family only premise.  i baked her a cake.  this one was 9x13 in shape.   wait, is that a shape?  anyway,  there was really no theme.  i just purchased some cute little plates, cups, table cloth, and napkins that had flowers on them.  olivia loved flowers after all.  and i'm pretty sure there were some balloons.  but the big event at this party was....are you ready?  i had heard that the colossal colon was coming to dallas.   in case you have not heard of the colossal colon, it is a gigantic colon that you could walk through.  it displays what the inside of a healthy colon looks like.  what a colon with diverticulitis looks like, and a colon with cancer.  now, being the interested in colon health person that i am...i decided this would make for a good time while the family was in town for olivia's birthday.  for whatever reason, my parents couldn't make it...but randy's parents humored me.  they may have thought i was kidding.  i'm not sure.  anyway,  we rode the DART (dallas public transit) into downtown dallas to see the "exhibit".  it was eye opening to say the least.   i will take this opportunity to say, "fiber is important people."  after the good times in downtown dallas, we came home and had cake and ice cream.  i think i may have had some extra candy to munch on, too.  for whatever reason my parents were able to make it in time for the food....as is proven by the picture where my mother and i are standing in the exact same pose.

griffin's first birthday.

once again, a family affair.  the grandparents were here, i think my sister was out of town.  perhaps she heard about the last birthday party where an enormous colon was involved.  and our good friend heather.   i made a cake....i think.  i'm pretty sure there was ice cream.  and i'm almost positive there were balloons.  i probably had other candy on the table.  but i recall no theme whatsoever.  i will have to look at the pictures.   griffin got lots of presents.   he has always been one to get lots of presents.

well, i found the pictures.  no theme that i can see, but there was a table cloth, and cupcakes, too, apparently.



ella's first birthday.

i made a cake.  i wasn't sure of the direction i was going to go with it until right before we were to sing the happy birthday to you....happy birthday to you song.....  we bought plates with a disney character on them at toys r us 3 hours before the "party".  we also bought her a present then.  one present...because we are moving to africa and she can't bring most of her stuff with her when we go....so why buy it?  we did take her to dinner at on the border...as she loves their enchiladas.  when we got home, olivia wrapped her present with wrapping paper and glue....because we didn't have tape.  we had no drinks.  sorry heather, i just realized that.  there was no extra food.  there was no ice cream.   and there were no balloons because ella is scared of inflatable things.  pool toys and balloons send her into hysterics.  she did get so excited when she saw the cake that she started to shake.  griffin blew out her candle before she could get close enough.  did i mention it was just us and heather?  who i invited just a few hours prior to the big "party"?  thank goodness she could make it.  i would post the video....but i accidentally deleted it.  i am so mad at myself for that!  it was a good one, too.  the kind where you can hear me telling people what to do and where to go over everyone else in the video.  in all fairness to us as parents, we were traveling the day before and the day after this event.  orchestrating a birthday party on top of itineration was just not something i could do.  i'm sure others who have gone before me have done it, but i just couldn't.  and have i mentioned griffin and ella were both sick during these festivities?  a first time mom would probably have charged on with the party plans despite sickness, traveling or even a hurricane.....but i didn't.

the thing is, if it weren't for this post....i don't think the kids would ever know.  the reason, because almost all the pics look the same.  the baby in a highchair.  a cake.  the baby with cake all over their face... and the obligatory picture to remember it by.   after all, when else do we take pics of our kids with food all over their faces?  don't we usually try to at least spit clean them before a picture?

i've never been the mother of the year with my ability to remember all the things that i should do.  i don't always take pictures of every important milestone.  i have had to, on multiple occasions,  ask my friends to take an extra picture for me b/c i forgot my camera, my camera battery was dead, or i just plain couldn't find the camera.  i am at times unable to keep all 8 ears clean 24/7.  sometimes i don't keep all 80 fingernails and toenails clipped to perfection.  and i must admit, griffin had birthday cake for breakfast this morning.  the thing is, i have some really amazing kids despite my imperfections.  i guess it's possible that their super amazing dad is the one responsible and i'm just a smiling face roaming about the house....

back to my original point...do kids really care about their first birthday?  i certainly don't remember mine.

Pumpkin Patch

so last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch at the big orange pumpkin farm.

i think the kids had a good time.   at least the little ones did....even though they tried to eat the food intended for the petting farm.  they will eat anything.

we fed cows, goats, sheep.  olivia chased a rooster...at least i think it was a rooster....  hudson roped a set of horns....or something of the sort.  my camera died as soon as the above picture was taken.  i apparently brought my kids to a pumpkin farm to feed animals, pick pumpkins, and go on their first hayride....with a dead camera battery.  it's pretty typical of my ability to be sentimental.  at least i had the camera.  anyway, the rest of the pics were taken with randy's phone.  thank goodness for phones....


ella roamed the open spaces happier than i have ever seen her.  maybe she will some day marry a farmer....she seems partial to the pumpkin farmer kind.

she chose a lovely pumpkin...one that was size appropriate and all.  while we were picking pumpkins i mentioned that we could make pumpkin spice bread.  from then on griffin was convinced that there would be pumpkin spice bread inside his pumpkin when we cut it open.  there was much disappointment.

anyway, after the pumpkins were picked and the animals were sufficiently fed, we went on a hayride.   ella was not in any way impressed, and spent most of her time trying to dig her way off the wagon.... through the bottom.  griffin thought we were saying hair way when we were saying hayride.  i'm not sure what that was all about???  between the pumpkin spice bread and the hair way...no one knows what in the world griffin is talking about when he tells them about his pumpkin farm experience.   and none of the other kids care to talk about it at all.

the spoon making mystery...

-we went to dinner last night to celebrate some friends of ours 30th wedding anniversary. 
-griffin woke up this morning saying they made spoons while we were away.  i said, "you made spoons?"  he said, "yes, spoons."
-we made homemade cookies yesterday.  chocolate chip.  they turned out perfect.  even randy ate them....and he doesn't really eat cookies. 
-hudson and olivia told me they made forts in the living room while we were away last night.
-ella especially enjoyed the cookies.

-ella enjoys her food.

-ella is a lot like her mother.
-i figured out that when hudson and olivia were saying forts, griffin thought they were saying forks.
-i love having a 2 year old....they are so very very funny.

-i love having a 1 year old....they are so very very wobbly.

-8 and 12 year olds are pretty great, too.

-i think that this morning griffin couldn't remember forks, so he said spoons.
-no matter how well a 2 year old speaks, one should take everything they say with a grain of salt....

hello being old....er

friday was one of those days when you realize that age has crept upon you.  here are a few examples as to why.
-it was friday night...we were at the bookstore.
-it wasn't even the cool bookstores like barnes and noble or borders....it was half price books.
-it wasn't even the cool, new half price books in mckinney... it was the old, smelly one in plano.
-after the bookstore we went home....it was 8 o'clock.
-i put the kids to bed so i could get some time shopping by myself.
-i went to target.
-on the way there, the radio started playing love bites.
-i knew every word.
-i turned up the radio.
-i did not turn up the radio because i like it loud and i want to be cool.
-i turned it up b/c the kids left the dvd player in the backseat on....and it was too loud to hear my music.
-i had the windows down because it was a perfect 72 degrees. 
-when it's 72 degrees i roll down the windows because i heard it uses less gas than if the air conditioning is on.
-i heard this on myth busters.
-in other words, i didn't have the windows down b/c i'm cool...i had them down to save gas.
-then it occurred to me that my music was loud, my windows were down, and i was singing.
-that's ok.....when you're NOT in a MINI VAN!
-i thought about rolling up the windows...but i didn't care enough to do that.
-not caring is a symbol of being old.
-i had to buy cough syrup at target. 
-the register went off and the guy had to ask me my age b/c i was buying medicine.
-it was then i realized i had to be at least 18 years older than the guy working at target.
-i got home and randy was watching the rangers play the yankees. 
-i'm not lying when i say the rangers' pitcher looked 17 years old.
-it's ok that i'm getting older. 
-i like the older dezra better anyway....

hurt toes, clean teeth, and the death of store bought cookies....

-i think i broke my toe.  it happened as i stumbled down the stairs carrying ella at 4 o'clock in the morning.  i'm not exactly sure how the injury was sustained....it's possible that i fell asleep between the second to the last stair and the last stair.
-hudson dissected a pig in science class yesterday.  he came home and told us all about it....at dinner....we were eating pork chops. 
-3 of my 4 kids went to the dentist today.  no cavities were found.  and yet the dentist still finds something to complain about. 
-dentists are picky and it irritates me a great deal.
-i'm eliminating high fructose corn syrup from our home.
-the kids miss their store bought cookies.
-the kids don't like homemade cookies.
-my kids are so weird.
-maybe my cookies are not any good.
-this toe makes me think my dancing career could be over.
-i ate my last south african chocolate today...really wishing i had paced myself better....
-this toe may put an end to my "running" for a while.
-can i really say that i am a runner when i've run 10 times in 3 months?
-can i really say that i am a runner if i only run in short spurts before having to stop and walk for a while?
-i tell people that i run when they ask if i work out.
-it's possible that i may need to come up with another name for what i do as a work out. 
-nah, it's easier to say that i'm a runner than it is to say, i run for a while until i feel like i'm going to pass out and then i walk until i feel badly for telling people that i'm a runner and so i start running again until i am about to pass out and then i walk again until i feel badly for telling people that i'm a runner and then i start running again until i'm about to pass out and then i start praying that i'm almost to my car again so that i can stop whatever motion it is that's propelling my body forward..... because i hate it.  i hate being a "runner".

one step forward, two steps back...

being sick with 4 kids is never ideal.  never...  not that my wonderful husband can't take care of them...he does a fine job.  it's the house.  oh my, the house....you have to stay on top of it...or at the very least not more than one step behind it.  and that means you don't sit down....never.  never, ever, ever.  for if you do...it, the "house" races ahead of you on a war path of dirt and disgust that seems ....

sorry olivia just said to me, "it's funny how you start every morning with a  clean house and 20 minutes later it's a pig sty." 

what was i saying?  oh, yes, it races on a war path of dirt and disgust that reaches what seems to be unreal proportions.  it's unexplainable really.  perhaps i'm the only one who has this problem...but i don't think that i am.  a clean house is my goal.  my one and only real goal.  the only goal i can think of that i've pretty much had my entire adult life, but cannot for the life of me accomplish.  some might say just give up.  and by some, i mean all of the people who live with me who get annoyed when i have fits of rage that involve yelling and screaming to pick that up, sweep this, vacuum that, and so on and so forth.  i can't do it alone.  i certainly didn't mess it up alone, so it seems only fair that the filthy people who messed up my house also be the ones to help clean it.  i know it's their fault because i always had a clean dorm room in college.  at least that's how i remember it. 

anyway, randy is gone...and hudson got sick...and then i got sick...which is worse than hudson getting sick...because, well, it just is.  i was in bed all day today.  nauseous and achy and miserable and wishing that i wasn't sick because i knew what was going on downstairs.  hudson felt like going to school today, so that left olivia, the 8 year old, in charge.  she made breakfast, she made lunch, she even made dinner.  she changed diapers, she put the 2 year old in time outs, she homeschooled herself, she ran the show.  and afterwards she told me, "no wonder your life is so hard."  i wasn't sure how to feel about that.  nonetheless, it was just as bad as i suspected when i finally came downstairs.  and so all the hard work that i've put into the deep cleaning of my house while randy is away, seemed very much in vain.  and so while i felt a step ahead of the house for almost a week...i am now 2 steps behind...  oh well... 

i am now feeling better...i guess it was a 24 hour thing...thank goodness!  it's not really the perfect situation for the 8 year old to be in charge...besides i don't want her life to be so hard....whatever that means.

about town and so forth...

-2 of the most important questions i can ask myself... is the gate to the kitchen up, and is the downstairs bathroom door closed? 
-i must ask myself these 2 questions every 30 seconds...

-how exactly do things get behind my couch?  nevermind, i don't really want to know...

-i sat behind a lady at a red light this afternoon, who had a bumper sticker that said, "all my children have paws".  she also had 21, yes 21, sets of paws stickers on the back of her window with names attached...they all started with the letter k...and they were human names.  ex. kelsey, konner, etc.  there are so many things i have to say at this point, but i will refrain....

-today griffin, among other things, jumped off of the couch and over ella's head...once clearing her, once not so much. 
-griffin squished ella today.
-griffin rode ella like a dinosaur...his words, not mine.
-griffin covered ella's face in chapstick while we were en route to pick hudson up from school.
-ella's eyelid's will most likely never get chapped. 
-ella screamed the entire van ride home from picking hudson up from school today.
-4 more weeks until ella can turn around in a forward facing car seat.
-4 more weeks until she can stop being poked, jabbed, and the recipient of chapstick facials. 
-it truly will be a happy birthday, ella.

why i should be a detective or something....

i think i'm pretty good at telling when people are not for real.  it's a gift.  i can smell fake, and i'm not a fan.  i'm also pretty good at knowing when someone is trying to pull the wool over ole' dezra's eyes.  such an event happened at the mall a few weeks ago.  i had been looking online for the perfect fall outfit for ella, and i found it.  but i decided to go to the mall and get it since randy had to go to the the apple store the next day....blah blah blah.   yes, i just blah (ed) the apple store.  everyone will get over it.  freakish cult.  ANYWAY, i find the shirt i'm looking for, but there is only 1.  it is the size i need, so i picked it up, and put it on the back of the stroller and continued shopping.  so i notice this lady standing next to me watching me and the shirt, and i notice she has a baby not much bigger than ella.  so suddenly the lady says to me, "you know that is going to be on sale tomorrow".  i looked at her, and i said, "really?  bummer...."  and i walked off...with the shirt in my hand.  something was off about this woman.  i proceeded to shop, and she walked away.  the next day i had to return a skirt b/c it was too big for ella....there was no sale.  just as i suspected.  seriously?!?!?!!?  i live in a messed up area where shopping moms do crazy things.  but to be honest, i'm not sure which is scarier....that she would try to trick me out of the shirt, or that i knew she was trying to trick me out of the shirt...thus making my mind just as twisted as her's.  weird.  crazy lady tryin' to get my shirt...i don't think so. 

i still have a cold sore.  it is gigantic.  and it looks like i have toothpaste or something on my lip.  it's terrible...i figure i have about 6 more days.  ella came charging at me from across the living room with her finger pointed.  i was like, oh, how cute is she, she is pointing at me and wants to come play with me...and, oh wait, she is coming to poke my cold sore.  i had to move away real quick.  she almost got it.  i really can't even imagine the pain that that would have brought.  probably something close to the pain i experienced as i scratched it in my sleep this morning.  that got me out of bed quick.  i thought i was going to die. 

seriously, randy has got to get home so i have someone to tell these stories to. 

i have no one to talk to....

i saw on the news yesterday that the IRS was going to start communicating with us citizens via the internet instead of via the mail.  they said it was going to save the IRS 10 million dollars in postage.  my question is, if the IRS is operated by the government...and the post office is operated by the government....does anyone else see where i'm going with this?  i'm not trying to be a smart butt or anything, i just really want to know how it is that one government agency can charge another government agency 10 million dollars.  i'm sure it's a simple answer.  but it sure seems like it should all be going and coming the same place.  clearly this is why i'm not in charge....

anyway, all of my blogging is having an unforseen impact on my brain.  when i am in conversation with friends, i don't know who has read the blog and who has not.  i don't want to repeat myself with a boring story that they have already read, but i really have nothing else left to talk about.  i would hate for someone to have to stop me mid-sentence to say, "oh, i um, read the blog...you don't have to keep talking".  that would be so embarrassing.  and really, i don't think i could recover....conversationally speaking, that is.  it also affects things in my head that i have not blogged about.  for instance, i have actually stopped myself from telling randy something because i knew he would read about it later in the blog.  i'm left saving my even more mundane things for actual conversation, which ends up leaving me in akward silence more times than i am comfortable with.   but really, right now, with randy being gone, i can't count on getting to have actual conversations with real people.  the chances of that happening are slim to none, since i rarely leave the house, and so i'm going to have put myself out here....and blog....even though it may mean i have nothing to say later....should anyone want to talk to me...in real life.  moving on....

today i realized i was in a bad way when i got up, looked in the closet for something to wear, and actually got excited that the work out pants (that are too short and i have very few times actually worn to work out in) were clean.  it was even more sad that i was also excited about the work out jacket and tank top (that i slept in) putting the finishing touches on my day's ensemble....  fortunately, i didn't go anywhere except to drop hudson off and pick hudson up at school.....curb side.  i will most likely wear this "outfit" again tomorrow.  it really works for me.  or at least i have convinced myself that i can pull it off....

me, myself and i

-10 month olds do not like to be held down by a 2 year old checking to see if they have a poopy diaper.
-my 2 year old has a real knack for smelling a poopy diaper. 
-my 2 year old has a real knack for finding my stash of junior mints.
-i didn't get as many junior mints today as i would have liked...
-my kids are experts at coming up with deep conversations just before bed.
-my kids rarely get to bed on time...
-i get very annoyed at shopping carts that are hard to push and/or make lots of noise.
-i can't remember the last time i had a good shopping cart...
-a wal mart greeter mockingly told me "good luck" when i was trying to find a good shopping cart....
-i found the wal mart greeter to be just as annoying as the cart.
-we have soup for dinner whenever randy is gone.
-randy does not like soup for dinner.
-we have breakfast for dinner whenever randy is gone.
-randy does not like breakfast for dinner.
-they have hamburgers for dinner when i am gone.
-i do not like hamburgers.
-i don't think i'm ever gone....
-i can go days without ever watching tv.
-i can go days without running.
-my liver is no longer unhappy...for any of you who read the liver blog.
-babies clapping and dancing is pretty much the cutest thing ever.
-me clapping and dancing is pretty much the second cutest thing ever.
-i have a high opinion of my dancing.
-it's possible that i don't dance as well as i think i do..

the hotel room

this last weekend we were doing the normal traveling thing.  we were in a hotel as usual, but we had 2 separate rooms.  this happens from time to time, and it's always nice when it does.  it's nice because, well, there are 6 of us...and i'm pretty sure it's not hotel/motel legal when we are all in 1 room.   it's also nice because it's easier to get the two little kids to sleep when we don't have them in the same room.  those two have it out for us, of that i'm sure....  have i mentioned the spitting contests in the back seat that they have?  you can hardly see their dvd player screen....because it's covered in spit.  i'm not proud, i'm just sayin'.... and i don't know what the best way to clean it off is.  so, it sits there, all spitty like.  i'm getting sidetracked...

so last weekend, in the hotel, ella kept me up from 4:30 to 6:30 in the morning.  it was tiring, but she is a baby, i understand.  she may not have liked her new surroundings.  i won't hold it against  her....well, i didn't hold it against her once i got up and had coffee.  back to this past weekend.  (this past weekend being the one we just had, last weekend being the weekend from last week...sometimes there is confusion in our home as to what past, last, this coming and next weekend all really mean.  i say it right, others in our home do not.  we will leave it at that) ella went to sleep like a champ!  i was so proud of her!  of course everyone in the room had to go to sleep with her at 9:00 in the evening...as she does not like to see any light when she is going to sleep/sleeping.  anyway.....i was awakened at the same time, 4:30 in the morning.  but this time, it was olivia getting up to use the restroom.  she was very quiet, i was proud of her stealthness.  unfortunately, her time up didn't end there.  i quickly became irritated with her non-stealthness.  she tossed and she turned, and she turned and she tossed.  it was annoying and loud.  i was afraid she was going to wake up ella.  so i told her to be still.  about 15 minutes later she said, "mom" quietly.  i pretended to be asleep...just knowing she would leave it alone.  i couldn't believe it when she actually said, "MOM," louder.  "can i switch positions?"  to which i replied, "i know you didn't just ask me that".  she continued to toss, turn, and construct bed forts with pillows.  i laid there, kept awake by her constant moving, until the alarm went off at 6:30.  ella woke up at 7:30....not hearing a bit of the ordeal, having slept the entire night like the little princess that she is.  as a parent, we all know it's impossible to have a favorite child.  but i think......that perhaps..... possibly..... i might have, at 6:30 this morning,  had a favorite daughter..... and a not so favorite daughter.  no worries, i eventually forgave her.  but it was later in the day...much later.  like just an hour or so ago.....


i can't stay mad at her for very long...she's too sweet....

so, this morning, as i was getting ready for church, i had to iron my clothes.  i know, i know, this isn't at all like me...but, b/c i was in a hotel room, i couldn't just throw the clothes in the dryer for a few minutes.  back to my original thought.  why are ironing boards SO LOUD?????  it's impossible to iron secretly.  and sometimes, you need to do some secret ironing.  i just don't understand.  old ironing boards, new ironing boards....they're all SO LOUD!  it was the ironing board, btw, that woke ella up at 7:30.  who knows, she may have slept even longer...putting her even further in my good graces. 

also, i have a fever blister.  most assuredly brought on by lack of sleep....as i am very tired...from lack of sleep. 

dislikes/loves

i don't like it when i'm walking through the mall and they try to stop me to sell something.  i don't want you to rub my head with that weird thing that you just rubbed on someone else's head.  i don't want you to rub my neck, i don't want you to look at my nails, and i don't want you to flat iron my hair right here in the middle of the mall.  do you know i saw the guy that sells the flat iron actually ironing his gotee one day.  oh yes, please touch my hair with that flat iron you just used on your straggly gotee.  blech....  anyway, today i was at sams because i need a new phone.  mine is a piece of junk.  thank you samsung instinct, you are a sorry excuse for a phone.  i mean, we all know it isn't worn out.  i hardly use the stupid thing.  but i will go ahead and take this opportunity to mention that if you have received a text from me that looked like i was typing in russian...it is because i have no control over the letters that are typed.  i just send messages and hope that people can come up with an interpretation.

back to my being at sams looking at phones.  a lady working there had the pleasure of walking around selling makeup.  it was an all in one makeup kit that had everything one might need to completely re-apply their makeup while out and about.  it was fantastic!  if you care.  i don't...so i'm not the girl she was needing to try to sell something to.  i apply makeup once a day...on some days.  it can stay or it can not stay...i'm not re-applying.  now if she had been seilling lip gloss, that might be another story.  i do have an addiction to lip gloss.  another subject for another day.   anyway, what i didn't mention in the beginning of this story is what an incredible bad mood i was in.    i tried so hard to be nice...but mostly i just wanted to scream, "please don't stop me while i'm walking around sams!!!"  i couldn't fit that all-in-one make up kit in my purse if i wanted to.  my purse is full.  it's full of i don't even know what!  but it's heavy, and i can't fit any more in it!  plus, i'm also trying to carry around this diaper bag.  it has everying i think i might need, but not what i really do need, for a 10 month old and a 2 year old.  also, i'm carrying around the afore mentioned 10 month old and 2 year old.  the re-application of make up is really not a priority...i'm just sayin'....no worries, this is not what i said.  i smiled as sweetly as i could and simply said, "i'm not interested, thank you."

on the upside, it's state fair time!!!!!  i so love the texas state fair.  i cannot wait to go!  i love the food, the car exhibit, the food, the car exhibit.  it's pretty much all we do.  well, except for the booth where they show you all the awesome cookware.  i usually sit there for a while, by myself, dreaming of how great it would be to cook with these amazing pots and pans.   and how i'm sure if i had them, my food would most certainly taste better!  but then i snap back to reality and i get on with the real reason why i'm at the fair....to eat!!!  we have tried the fried peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, the fried snickers, the fried oreos, the fried coke, the chicken fried bacon.  fortunately, we really don't eat fried food the rest of the year.  and then when we are through with that, we eat cotton candy, frito chili pie, and corny dogs.  we always leave the fair feeling sick, saying that we are never going to eat that much again, and arguing about where we parked and how to get back to our car. 

out of words....

i think that quite possibly the best way for an 8 year old girl to spend her afternoon, is to spend it using her easy bake oven.  olivia was busy for hours!  of course there were only 5 cookies when she was finished....

my dearest olivia....she plans on opening her own bakery, you know...

griffin stayed much more focused in his 3 year old gymnastics class.  of course as i was getting him ready to go, i asked him, "are you going to gymnastics?"  to which he replied, "i go nymnastics with mommy?"  that made me feel bad.  i suppose he didn't notice me trying to keep up with him and manage olivia and ella at the same time last week.  he was just having fun....which made me wonder, what was going through his head from 9:45 to 10:30 that day?  i'm pretty sure he was giggling as hard on the inside as he was on the outside. 

they are only 2 once....and that is kind of sad....kind of....  geepers creepers i love this kid!  he's my lion.  and he is most certainly the king of his jungle.  plus, his hair looks like a mane when he wakes up.  :)

so i've been thinking a lot about what i'm going to do with all of my stuff when we move to africa.  i really don't want to take any of it with me, yet, i can't seem to part with it.  i'm pretty sure no one is going to volunteer to keep it for me....for crying out loud, i don't even want it.  why can i not part with my junk?!?! i have a problem....not like the kind of problem that would qualify  me for the show hoarders...but a problem nonetheless.  i do like to watch that show, as it makes me feel better about myself. 

well, i got to the end of this day and i have very few words left.  which is sad, because i said very little.  unfortunately, i said those few things over and over and over again.  no, you cannot have any lucky charms...we are out of lucky charms.  we don't have any lucky charms.  you ate all of the lucky charms.  mommy hasn't gone to the store to get more lucky charms.  stop trying to climb the gate to get into the kitchen, there are no lucky charms.  no, i cannot put lucky charms in that bowl.  i don't think you NEED lucky charms.  ella can't have lucky charms either.  there are NO lucky charms.    the really depressing thing about this is that i am not going to the store until sunday.  so i have to repeat this conversation tomorrow, saturday, and then again sunday....as i shop in the p.m. not the a.m.....  i also said, ella don't go in the bathroom.  no, no ella, we don't go in the bathroom.  please get out of the bathroom, ella.  griffin close the door so ella doesn't go in the bathroom.  hudson, close the door so ella doesn't go in the bathroom, olivia close the door so ella doesn't go in the bathroom.  repeat this paragraph about 8 more times and there's my day in a nutshell.  i'm going to bed now....



what a day....not really....

it's amazing to me how one event/appointment/situation can send your day into a tailspin....ok, well, maybe not a tailspin, but it can keep you from getting everything done that needs to be done.  this morning i had a doctor's appointment at 8 am.  my liver has been acting up.  i didn't know it was an unhappy liver until i had to have bloodwork done for our medical clearance to move to africa.  but yep, those late night drinking binges seem to have caught up with me.  randy had been warning me for years, but i just wouldn't listen.  anyway, i have to keep having bloodwork done to see what's up.  it's going to be akward if this leads us to an embarrassing disease and i just blogged about it.  nonetheless, i'll go on with my not that interesting story. i without question go to the most unfriendly doctor's office on the planet.  everyone that works there is miserable.  they make me want to say, "hey, i hate you just as much (or more) than you hate me, but can we not at least pretend to like each other?"  truly these people are very sad, angry, or some combination of the two.  and since i'm there to have bloodwork, i'm not any better.  i won't pretend that i am the ray of sunshine that they have all needed to see in their day.  i'm not.  i hate needles.  i strongly dislike all who poke me with the needles.  moving on.....    i ended up getting there a few minutes early, so i proceeded to look in their stacks of magazines.  their magazines, like their personalities, are completely dreadful.  off brand sports magazines and opera news were among the highlights.  yep, opera news.  ANYWAY....  this event set my whole day off.  it made it where i couldn't go running...which would have been like my 8th time this month, so it's clearly very important to me.  it also made it to where olivia and i didn't get started on homeschool until an hour or so later than normal. .... which made us not get finished in time for gymnastics, which made me not get the kitchen cleaned, which pushed me on over the edge to serve leftovers for dinner instead of cooking.   ok, ok, i was going to do that anyway, but still, the list goes on and on.  you will never get this 5 minutes of your life back...sorry....  oh, i was kidding about the drinking binges.... and i'm sure the doctor's office employees are delightful people....when they are not at work....

just more stuff...

-i'm not sure what it says when you are willing to get up at 6 am to go running....just to get some alone time. 
-i know i've had an unbelievably busy day when i forget to eat a snack....because i ALWAYS eat a snack
-i don't think it says anything good that my family goes to the dryer to find towels before they look in the bathroom cabinet.....
-i don't think it says anything good that my family can't find towels in the dryer either....
-what does it mean that i've seen ella bathe herself, on more than one occasion, with a baby wipe....
-every time randy says, "you should put that in your blog", it hurts my blogging mojo.  i wish he would stop that....
-griffin has started telling people at churches we visit to, "stop talking".  it's really embarrassing.
-i guess i should stop telling griffin to, "stop talking". 
-griffin talks soooo much.
-i almost threw up after doing 20 crunches this morning.
-i'm not in good shape. 
-i have only been running 7 times since i decided to start running.....4 weeks ago. 
-i'm not getting much alone time.
-no matter how hard i try, i can't seem to buy the proper amount of bananas at the grocery store...
-some people don't laugh very much.
-things are funnier than most people seem to think...
-it's possible that i laugh too easily...
-today i partook of the sourest clementine ever harvested...it was miserable...
-that's the problem with fruit, you never know what you're gonna get...with ho ho's you at least have some consistancy.
-i'm behind on the laundry.
-i'm behind on thank you notes.
-i'm behind on my daily Bible reading that keeps me on track to read the Bible all the way through in one year.
-i'm behind on dishes.
-i'm ahead on calories for the day...
-i like to end on positive notes...

everything that went on in my head from 9:45 to 10:30 this morning...

darn my inability to pay attention to details!  if i had wanted to chase griffin around i would have just stayed home...or gone to the mall...or anything else, really.  when i signed griffin up for gymnastics i guess i just didn't read the fine print.  apparently i signed him up for a mom and me class.  WHA?!?!!  this is NOT what i meant to do.  but here i am, not having worn the proper pants, socks or pretty much anything, for a gymnastics class.  not to mention, why am i paying for this?!?!  i can chase him for free everywhere else.  and i don't have to worry about him running in front of little girls running 20 miles an hour towards a vault...only to have to dodge a curly headed blond boy that escaped from his mother who for a short second mouthed angerly (silent but obvious yelling, where your lips are moving with anger and disgust, but no sound is coming out)  to olivia to watch ella and stop complaining...  the reason i signed him up was because he has a lot of energy these days and he needs a place to put it...and i need a place to not feel it.  i thought i had found the perfect answer.  i'm still thinking (as i ran, chased, threatened, gave the evil eye) what am i going to do?  i cannot do this for the next 6 weeks, but that's what i payed for.   this isn't going to work out, this isn't going to work out, THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK OUT!  and then i'd break for a moment to mouth angerly at olivia some more.....she wanted to change jobs.  is she kidding?!!?!  she can't control him, i can't control him.  this is NOT working out....i'm never going to hear the end of this when i tell randy what i've done.  i'm not telling randy what i've done.  i'm just kidding, i tell randy everything i've done.  oh, why do i have to tell randy what i've done???....maybe it could be a dad and me class?  wait, no, that isn't going to make this any better....what time is it?  geez, i thought this class was only 45 minutes....i swear it's been 45 minutes.  aughhh, i've got to mouth angerly at olivia some more...please just keep ella happy for 5 more minutes!  griffin gets away from me and trips and lands in the pit of foam.  all i can think is, thank goodness!  he can't get out of there easily.  put her back in her stoller!  ...more angerly mouthing (silent yelling..in case anyone forgot what it was). 

it all ended ok, the teacher decided that griffin is ready for the 3 year old class, which is not a mom and me class....HALLELUJAH!

hmmmm......

-i say "turn down the tv" no less than 257 times a day.
-i say "put your underwear on" after every time i say "turn down the tv."
-i wish bathing weren't a requirement because i'm too tired to make it part of the every day...but i do...because it's the right thing to do.
-going to the dentist is the right thing to do, but i have not gone in a really long time.
-i need to make a dentist appointment.

-i dream about retirement more than most 34 year old women, of this, i am quite certain.
-i've never had a full time job.
-if i've never had a full time job, what exactly am i retiring from?
-i don't know, but i'm super excited about it.

-i love hearing about hudson's day when i pick him up from school.
-i love hearing hudson play guitar.
-i love hudson.

-i woke up, about 10 minutes after i went to sleep last night, to ella coughing and sputtering.
-i went to check on ella last night.
-i got puked on in the eye last night.

-i adore watching my husband and kids wrestle in the living room floor.
-i wish i could wrestle with them, but i think they would hurt me
-i don't like pain.
-i'm not really going to make a dentist appointment.

just dance

i love to dance.  i use to dance all of the time.  everyone on every praise team i have ever been a part of has seen my moves.   and they are awesome moves!  i danced when i was sick.  i danced when i was pregnant.  i danced every time my drummer gave me a beat to dance to...which was all the time because he was awesome...just like my moves. 

but lately, because i no longer lead worship and i no longer have worship practices to dance at...i haven't had the opportunity to dance.  so, i've found myself dancing around the house.  i dance to disney channel songs...as they are almost always on...i dance to songs i make up and sing to my babies.  i dance all the time.  i have awesome moves.   anyway, lately, i guess b/c she is at home with me more now...olivia is requesting that i stop dancing.  she says things like, "why must i be subjected to this", and "you are so embarrassing".  WHAT?!?!  i have awesome moves!  why is she saying these things.  when she was little she would dance with me...kind of like griffin and ella do now.  they look at me like i'm so cool and they love that i am dancing.  and i can tell they like my awesome moves because of how proud they look at me.  but olivia, she is hurtful.  she doesn't recognize my awesomeness at all.  i try to put myself in her place...you know, like if i saw my mom dancing how i dance.  but i really can't imagine that, because i don't remember my mom ever dancing.  no one on my praise teams ever acted annoyed at my dancing.  in fact, i'm quite sure they miss it....it was very awesome!  it was so awesome in fact, that i had people telling me all the time that they wish they could record it and put it on youtube!  they wouldn't have wanted to put it on youtube if it wasn't awesome...only awesome things are on youtube...

what is it about potty training?!?  ugh!  my beautiful 2 year old was always dressed until we started on this journey.  last week i looked up while eating dinner and saw things that should not be exposed at the dinner table.  this made me think i should purchase a loin cloth....but then i realized i have never actually seen a place to purchase loin cloths...and honestly, i'm not going to go looking.  did i ever tell any one about the time i went to dandy candies looking for candy?  it wasn't a candy store....  anyway, i'm ready for my little guy to wear pants again.  sooooo ready....  i'm also ready to figure out how to deal with his resentment for having 4 parents...the 12 year old and 8 year old are really annoying him.  and i wish they would stop laughing when he burps and toots...it's creating an environment i'm not particularly comfortable with.


anyway, another annoyance....i'm frustrated with television.  over the summer i fell in love with usa's covert affairs.  grant it i only got to see it 4 times, but still....  well, i found out last week that it only has one more week.  why?!?!  and then last night randy informed me that survivor is getting moved to wednesday.  um..it's been on thursday night for like 12 years, why mess with it?  and then there's football.  why must football season start every year?!?!?  fortunately i'm married to someone who isn't some crazed man who has to watch three games at once or anything, but still...it's playing on tv on sundays and i'd prefer it not be.  i'm actually quite happy about moving to a country where the real football is popular.  the one where more than one player uses their foot! as i type this i turned around.... and guess what is on tv.....it isn't covert affairs.....or survivor....

tonight's dinner consisted of instant mashed potatoes, an already cooked chicken i bought last night, and green beans.  i didn't get the chicken heated up enough and i didn't put enough seasoning in the green beans.  yes, the only thing that was worth eating were the instant mashed potatoes....what does that say?!?!  nevermind... and don't judge me on my instant mashed potatoes...my family won't eat the ones i make from real potatoes.  i fought it for like 13 years...but finally, i gave in.  i feel like a loser about it, but that's how it is.  i'm hoping african potatoes are easier to mash...

ha ha

i was reading over my last couple of posts.  i think i said something along the lines of, we usually forget very little.  my word, when did i write that?  i have forgotten something(s) every single time we've gone somewhere for the last month.  i will get the hang of this...eventually.  of course we will probably be in africa by then. 

my baby is learning to walk.  sometimes people get all emotional when their babies start growing up and doing big kid things.  i do not.  i don't get sad when they have big birthdays.  i don't get emotional when they start school, end school, skip school.  i'm just happy for their accomplishments.  of course i haven't had one graduate yet...maybe that will make a difference....maybe.   i doubt it though.  i lack that part of the brain that gets all sentimental and junk.  i guess i remember how much i loved my milestones...and so i'm able to just be happy for them.  hmm...speaking of that, ella looks so happy as she walks.  she is sooooo proud of herself. 

today was a good day.  nothing spectacular happened, but i got to spend the day with my family.  i laughed a lot.  we are healthy.  and the house doesn't have a weird smell.  life is good....

a few things...or ten...

i've learned a few things the last couple of days....

1. bananas in a bag at the lake when it's 104 degrees, aren't really a good idea.
2. you shouldn't put important documents in a place that you can't remember.
3. sometimes friends aren't as good of friends as you think. but that's ok, keep trying...
4. facebook can be a huge time sucker.
5. sometimes what you think is an adorable hair do...your 8 year old does not.
6. because you're the mommy, you get the blame.
7. sometimes your day doesn't go as planned, but roll with it anyway.
8. some friends last a life time.
9. there will never be enough time in the day...
10. skyping with your mom is a great thing...

We got up early and went to Wal-Mart. I don’t enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart, but as I’ve already established...it’s close and I’m lazy. I took Olivia with me, as she wanted to purchase Polly Pockets. She has decided she is only 8 years old and that it is ok if she plays with such a toy. I also took Ella…that way Hudson only had to watch Griffin while Randy went to the gym. I should go to the gym too, but then when would I do the grocery shopping? Anyway, while there Olivia made the comment, “there isn’t anyone here. “ To which I replied, “that’s why I come so early in the morning. I don’t like shopping with other people.” See, this is something Randy doesn’t get. It really annoys him that I’m in a hurry to get to Wal-Mart on grocery store days. If it were up to him, we would shop in the evenings, on Saturdays, on Sundays…good grief! Has he no idea what a difference it makes to shop in the early mornings? It’s a silly little battle that he and I have over and over and over again. I’m a woman with routine…it’s hard for me to think outside of that.


On to the rest of my day, packing and unpacking has become a way of life. I think we are getting better at it. Faster anyway… and usually we forget very little. Oh wait, the reason I started with my Wal-Mart story. On my way out the door, Hudson said he needed shower gel. I’m so torn on the whole shower gel. The smell is quite strong…which makes me think it’s loaded with chemicals. We all know where I stand on that. Plus, it gives me such a headache! These things make no sense to him…and so now I sit here, typing, able to smell him from downstairs as he showers in the upstairs bathroom. *sigh*

Back to our packing and unpacking, as a general rule of thumb, I am prone to leaving suitcases partially unpacked for months. It’s not a job that I enjoy…unpacking that is. But with our new life, which consists a great deal of dealing with suitcases, it’s become something that I have to get better at doing. And so I press on.

It’s always hard coming home after a few days. It would seem as though all of us forget what our daily duties are here on the home front. And I’m not sure, but I think some of us, and by us I mean Hudson, get slower at our chores when we’ve had a break. I’m not lying when I say the dishes took him over an hour. And there just weren’t that many of them…. Anyway, the laundry is done, the living room put back together, the van is cleaned out, and thanks to Hudson and his perseverance…the kitchen is clean. Well, clean for a 12 year old boy.

Olivia, by the way, did not purchase any Polly Pockets…upon further review...she decided she wouldn’t really play with such things…