cooking and other great feats...

well, first off, let me say...it ain't easy.  but not for reasons one might think.  it's not the foods...it's crazy stove and crazy oven that are giving me fits.  sure i have a double oven...but only one actually bakes anything.  and the other one, upon it's choosing, blows a breaker.  even though it isn't actually baking anything in the first place.  the top oven, which we will call my good oven,  is the only one i use.  however, i discovered today that it leans to the front.  my sheet cake dripped all over the front of the oven.  which brings me to the sheet cake.  oh. my.  when we moved i wasn't sure that i could get all of the ingredients for the recipes in my pioneer woman cookbook.  but hallelujah, i had all the ingredients for her sheet cake.  with every taste, every child said, "oh. my. goodness."  in a good way.  it wasn't pretty...thanks to the leaning oven of swaziland, but it was good.  very good.

everyday i try to make something new.  i figure, eventually, someone will come see me...and when they do, i want to be able to make them something yummy.  every meal i ask the family if this is something we could serve guests?  indian tacos-yes.  mediterranean chicken-no.  pancakes-yes.  spaghetti with homemade sauce-no.  it's a little game we play that gets me super defensive and usually stirs up quite a fight.  randy has tried to remain neutral, but hudson hasn't learned to keep his mouth shut.  there are some things it takes men a lifetime to learn.  or at least through their teenage years.....

anyway, i got a little side tracked.  my other cooking obstacle is the stove.  the stove that only has 2 working burners.  oh sure, the others look like they are on...glowing bright red they are, but there will be no heating of my food.  the two burners that do work...only cook on high.  it's fantastic.  not really.  but i shall survive.

i have tried 4 different recipes for tortillas.  each time i end up with something more the thickness of a pancake.  oddly enough, my pancakes are as thin as normal tortillas.  however, as previously noted, they taste very, very, good.  back to my tortillas....i think i'm too weak to roll them out properly.  maybe randy is right, maybe i need to do push ups.  i don't have time to do push ups, what with all my running and all...  ok, so i have done absolutely no physical activity whatsoever since we got here....besides cooking. which i'm pretty sure does not count.  well, the kids bought a trampoline, and i did jump on it a few days.  i even did a no hands flip...which hudson said i botched.  i don't think it matters how you land when you can still do a hands free flip at 35 after having 4 children and your equilibrium getting all screwed up in childbirth.  at least i think that is how it happens.  before kids-not sick on amusement park rides.  after kids-sick on amusement park rides.  do you know that the kids didn't even have the decency to tell randy of my amazing no handed flip feat?!?!  the one thing i ask them to tell their father...

the "grocery" store....

shopping here has not been so bad.  the local pick and pay has many items to choose from. and when they don't have it, you hope for the best and walk on down to woolworths.  woolworths is an interesting store with a wide variety of items.  when i say wide, i am talking more by the fact that they carry both men's pajamas and ice cream....not that they carry a lot of items, they don't.  it's no super target.  but i cannot complain.   the weird thing that strikes me every time i am in woolworths, is the music they play.  it reminds me of the music i heard in an elevator of a hotel i once stayed in las vegas.  an upbeat oceans 11 theme of sorts.  i feel weird, like i'm  suppose to walk quickly, spend lots of money and speak with a british accent.  i don't know why, but the music does it to me.  i keep asking randy if he feels the same way about the music, he says he hasn't even noticed the music.  what?!?!  how can you not notice the need to become an entirely different person just by entering into this store?  anyway, as soon as i walk out, the feeling goes away, and i realize it's JUST PEPPERS that i purchased, and i am indeed still in africa.  sometimes it hits me before i get into the wrong side of the vehicle, sometimes it hits me after.

where it gets a little different than home, is the grocery cart.  very few people use the big carts that we use in the states.  in the states it's very common to see someone pushing around a cart with food heaping over the sides.  sure most of those people were buying food for a restaurant and i was buying for one week of feeding a single family, but still, i did not feel odd.  here, everyone shops around with a small basket, or a mini buggy with 2 small baskets on it.  they look at you strange when you buy so many groceries at one time.  and they seem a bit annoyed that you are taking up so much aisle space.  last week i tried to use the little buggy with 2 baskets.  by the time i got to the last aisle, both of my mini buggy baskets were running over, i had had to shove stuff under the bottom basket between it and the wheel, and i was carrying toilette paper for 6, diapers,  and paper towels under my arms.  sometimes you just can't blend in with the locals...try as one might...  i shall never mini buggy again.  not unless i plan on going to the store twice a day, everyday, from now till we stop eating...

oh, where to start...

on may 23rd we packed up the rest of what could fit into the containers that we had left.  we had made a personal commitment to not buy any more containers, as it was getting a bit ridiculous, and so as we got to the end it became clear we weren't going to be able to take the lantern.  yes, we left our lantern.  let it be noted that on june 17th, the electricity was out for a very long time here in swaziland, and we wished we had replaced some of the brownie mix with the lantern....  anyway,  we finished up the very last bits of packing, said our good byes to randy's parents, my sister, her children,  and my grandparents.  those moments in time are meant for a much more sad blog.  *sigh*  so anyway, we put everything we had on the trailer, and off we went to the airport.  we had such favor as we checked in our luggage.  it went incredibly smooth, and quickly, too.  all things considered. :)  we got something to eat, and then we boarded.  my parents were kind enough to come with us to swaziland.  not permanently, but long enough to help us get settled in, and to help with the trip.  THANK YOU!  i'm not sure we would have all made it without them.

as the plane took off i told ella to say, "good-bye to america."  she waved....














we landed in london 8 hours later.

we were blessed that the flight wasn't very full, and everyone was able to stretch out a lot.  most of us got enough sleep, and so the london excursion that i forced everyone to endure was less of a beating.  we took the tube around the city and we did it with a double stroller.  the tube, and most of its entrances and exits, are not created for a double stroller...not to mention, 2 carry ons,  3 back packs, 2 toddlers, 2 purses full of things that could not fit into the carry ons, 2 blankies, 4 pacifiers...in case one of them lost one, and the london "treasures" that olivia felt compelled to purchase...which included, but was not limited to, a poster that could not be bent or folded.  now when i say that the tube was not meant for a double stroller, it's not because it's not big enough.  there was plenty of room....once we were on.  unfortunately, there are no elevators, so we, and when i say we, i mean randy, had to carry the stroller up or down 2, 3, 4 flights of stairs and usually some unbelievably steep escalator.  i would post a picture, but none of us had hands to take a picture with.  well, i might could have taken a picture while carrying ella, my purse, and 3 back packs, but my camera battery was dead.  yes, i was in london with a dead camera battery.  i had planned ahead and put batteries in my purse in case such an incident took place....unfortunately, i didn't remember that until i got to africa.  hudson made a video of our london trip...he made it look like we had a good time.  that's all that matters really.  we laughed a lot.  we yelled from time to time.  we gave each other dirty looks.  we wondered why on earth dezra would make us take on such an adventurous feat with 4 kids in tow.  we finally made it back to the airport.  i don't know if i ever want to see london again.  pretty sure i don't.

our flight to johannesburg was delayed.  so we took naps.  and then we boarded the plane.  being blessed yet again, the flight had almost no one on it.  i had 8 seats in all at my disposal.  but i also had ella...which meant not much sleep.  it could have been worse.  at least she was quiet.  and so everyone on board didn't hate me the next morning.

when we got to johannesburg, the trailer we had rented was the size of my dining room table.  we had asked for the biggest one they had, but that clearly meant nothing to them on this particular morning.  God preformed a few miracles, and we were able to get all of our belongings to swaziland.  all 40 pieces of luggage.  only one serving dish, from target, was broken.  everything else was exactly how we packed it.  we made it to our new home on the evening of may 25th, to the welcoming claps of the missionaries that were already on the ground here.   and that was our trip from allen to ezulwini...at least i think that's how you spell it....

loungewear...what's the big deal?!?!

one of my favorite bloggers is the pioneerwoman.  she is absolutely hysterical, and with the exception of her bazaar love of her dog, charlie... she has the makings of what could be my very best friend in the whole wide world.  well, in her blogs she often makes reference to black GAP yoga pants.  so, the other day when randy and i were driving somewhere, and we do that OFTEN....i told him i would like to try these amazing pants.  of course his response to this is one i would have predicted, as he is anti stretchy pants.  i think he said something along the lines of, why do women buy those if they aren't going to work out?  i don't understand.  you don't see men wearing them...  he said that he thinks women should do like men, wake up, put their pants and shirts on and be dressed for real already.  or something to that effect.  i don't know why it's a big deal to him.  i can't even begin to imagine my life without my stretchy black pants.  i cannot wait to get into them!  i love the days when i don't have to get out of them.  and dog on it, i want to at least try on those GAP pants!!!  all this to say, why do men have this weird hatred towards loungewear?  so i thought about it some more.  here is all i could come up with....our pants are fitted.  we have all of these things on under our clothes that are fitted.  being a woman has for centuries been one of the most uncomfortable things to be on the planet!  from corsets to girdles to spanx and back, women are uncomfortable!  no wonder we are cranky!  and i haven't even begun on underwire, push up, padded, or cleavage reducing bras.  good grief!  the lounge pant is the one comfy thing in our lives for crying out loud....let us lounge!  it's really awesome that you get to put on your loose fitting jeans and a shirt and be done with it.  but all that means to me is that you can't enjoy the blessing that the lounge pant truly is.  and so now i am done with that.  i am going to GAP.  i will fight for the right to lounge.  it's a worthy cause....in my opinion...

things i'm going to miss....besides the obvious, friends and family....

-mimi's cafe.  mimi's is single handedly responsible for 7 of the pounds that are currently on my body but are not wanted there.  i can point to the muffins exact locations....but i will not.

-target.  i only go a few times a month, but when i'm there...i am happy.  however, it is probably best that i will no longer have target to wonder around in.  for one,  i have conditioned myself to think that every time i check out there, i deserve a box of junior mints.  these junior mints have contributed to 3 of the pounds of unwanted weight i am currently carrying.  i can point to each mint...but i will not.

-the mall that is 5 minutes to my north, the mall that is 10 minutes to my south and the mall that is 20 minutes to my west.  i only go about once every six weeks, but i feel better just knowing they are there.  it's a safety thing mostly.   should i need something, it will most certainly be at one of these malls.  and that makes me feel right about things.

-braums' milk.  i really can't imagine a life without it.  i have to just block out the idea of drinking anything but braums' milk.  Lord, help me.

-pizza hut.  i make really good pizza at home.  i'm becoming quite a pizza'ria'er'ish kind of a person...but still, i love pizza hut.  i always have.  ever since it was the place that all church people went on sunday night after church when i was a little girl.  i really love the small town pizza hut...it's my absolute favorite!  but here in the city, i have to settle for the carry out place.  it isn't nearly as wonderful, and sadly, they do not have the great pizza hut buffet....but it works ok.  which brings me to my next thing...

-pizza hut buffet.  oh how i love you, pizza hut buffet!  i don't get you very often, but you make my head spin with happiness.   so much so that you are responsible for 5 of the extra pounds that are currently on my body.  if anyone ever sees the pounds that seem to be shaped like triangles on my thighs...well, you know...

-tex mex.  this is becoming painful to think about...

-dillards sales.  i love you dillards.  you have always been my most favorite place to shop.  and even though i don't shop very often, i always knew that i could count on you.

-netflix.  i didn't expect my relationship with you to be so fulfilling.  but it is...and now i can't imagine life without you.

but at the end of the day...i will live.  i will live without each one of you, and i will be ok.  and i might even lose a few pounds along the way....so long buttermilk spice muffins, you were good while you lasted!

some things are weird because we are moving to africa...some things are weird because we are weird.

-i figured out today why i made the switch to facebook a couple of years ago....it was b/c i had become too old to figure out how to attach music to my myspace profile.  why did they switch the way we put music on our pages anyway? was it really to get rid of all the old people?
-i have apparently packed up the toys that griffin and ella loved to play with a little too prematurely.  i left them some toys, but they don't seem to like them.
-i don't think they like them because they are getting into EVERYTHING...and they didn't really do that before.
-i caught griffin spraying all purpose cleaner into our water filter.
-it was all natural cleaner...so it was ok.  except that it made our water all bubbly.  which was not ok...
-i caught griffin spraying 409 on ella's cookie.
-ella was waiting patiently for the cookie griffin was "preparing" for her.
-fortunately,  i was able to intercept that cookie transaction before it took place.
-i caught ella sucking on my dishwashing sponge....twice.
-GROSS!
-my children are sitting in fan strollers while they watch tv....because we sold the sofa and chair.
-one kid always has to sit on a lawn chair at dinner.
-we haven't sold any of our dining room furniture, but there were only 4 chairs with the set.  and then we had 4 kids.  the math was not in their favor.
- if ella were old enough to be out of her highchair, we would have to buy her a lawn chair, too.
-the lawn chair was an upgrade.
-my kids use to have to take turns sitting on the exercise ball at dinner. but then we bought a lawn chair.
-this wasn't the lawn chairs original place, but that is another story for another day.
-the original place for the lawn chair was, oddly enough, not the lawn.  i will leave it at that.

our trash can story

we moved into this house over 8 years ago.  we had a trash can that came with it.  it was an older trash can, but it was fine.  nothing really wrong with it.  a few years into us living here, another family moved in 2 houses over.  they had a trash can that came with their house, too.  it had a big gash in the side, and rain could get in.  it was not a good trash can....at all.  about a year after they moved in, one day after the trash man picked up all of our trash,  the neighbor took my trash can back to his driveway.  i was certain it was by mistake, so i let it go.  the next week, he did it again.  the next week, he did it again.  wha?!?! this went on for a couple of months or so.  so one day i ran to get the trash can right after the city picked up the trash.  i beat my neighbor to it!  i also wrote my address on the top with my sharpie as fast as i could.  see, i had originally done this when we moved in, but the sun had bleached it out where it was not easily seen.  i guess that's when my neighbor decided to make his "move."  anyway, i had the trash can back in my possession.  the problem was solved.....  until that afternoon when he sent his son to knock on my door and tell me i had gotten their trash can.  wha?!?! i smiled and said, "oh, ok."  but did nothing about it.  after all, we both knew it was not actually his trash can.  but then he sent his son back to my house.  this time to get the trash can!  wha?!?!  at this point, i knew he knew this was not his trash can at all.  i also knew this was why he started keeping their trash can, which was actually my trash can, in the garage where i could not go get it.  it became clear i was dealing with quite a piece of work.  i told randy that i knew my neighbor knew this was not his trash can, and that he knew, i knew!  randy said i was crazy.  which is true, but i was not crazy about what was going on here...  so one night i was driving this neighbor's kids to church with me, and we happened to pass by the row of trash cans on our street.  as we did,  his daughter looked at me and said, "yeah, we use to have a trash can that had a big hole in the side like that."  I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW HE KNEW, AND THAT HE KNEW I KNEW HE KNEW...that I KNEW! i was not crazy!  and this trash can with a huge gash in the side was not mine!!!

the next week i called the city and told them my trash can, which of course was not really mine at all, had a big hole in it and that i would like a new one.  fortunately for me, and for my neighbor, they provided one for free.   as soon as it was delivered, i put my address on it with big numbers.  and no one ever took my trash can again.

that neighbor has since moved, which is too bad because  i liked that neighbor, and i loved their kids.  they were really great kids.  i'm glad we were all able to work  out our trash can situation...even if it was never really talked about.  i know he knows, and i know he knows that i know.  and that really is all that matters... well, that, and that i got a brand new trash can...for free.  and now every time i see the numbers on it, i think about my neighbors. and then i smile about our trash can woes.  and i wonder how they are all doing in their new place....do they take the neighbor's trash cans there, too?  sure i'm a little embarrassed about how i behaved over a silly thing like a trash can.  i shouldn't have done that.  the sharpie out in the street may have been a little much.  it's possible that the trash can situation was unnecessarily escalated.   next time someone steals my trash can i will order a new one right away and try to avoid such behavior....i hope....