why i should be a detective or something....

i think i'm pretty good at telling when people are not for real.  it's a gift.  i can smell fake, and i'm not a fan.  i'm also pretty good at knowing when someone is trying to pull the wool over ole' dezra's eyes.  such an event happened at the mall a few weeks ago.  i had been looking online for the perfect fall outfit for ella, and i found it.  but i decided to go to the mall and get it since randy had to go to the the apple store the next day....blah blah blah.   yes, i just blah (ed) the apple store.  everyone will get over it.  freakish cult.  ANYWAY, i find the shirt i'm looking for, but there is only 1.  it is the size i need, so i picked it up, and put it on the back of the stroller and continued shopping.  so i notice this lady standing next to me watching me and the shirt, and i notice she has a baby not much bigger than ella.  so suddenly the lady says to me, "you know that is going to be on sale tomorrow".  i looked at her, and i said, "really?  bummer...."  and i walked off...with the shirt in my hand.  something was off about this woman.  i proceeded to shop, and she walked away.  the next day i had to return a skirt b/c it was too big for ella....there was no sale.  just as i suspected.  seriously?!?!?!!?  i live in a messed up area where shopping moms do crazy things.  but to be honest, i'm not sure which is scarier....that she would try to trick me out of the shirt, or that i knew she was trying to trick me out of the shirt...thus making my mind just as twisted as her's.  weird.  crazy lady tryin' to get my shirt...i don't think so. 

i still have a cold sore.  it is gigantic.  and it looks like i have toothpaste or something on my lip.  it's terrible...i figure i have about 6 more days.  ella came charging at me from across the living room with her finger pointed.  i was like, oh, how cute is she, she is pointing at me and wants to come play with me...and, oh wait, she is coming to poke my cold sore.  i had to move away real quick.  she almost got it.  i really can't even imagine the pain that that would have brought.  probably something close to the pain i experienced as i scratched it in my sleep this morning.  that got me out of bed quick.  i thought i was going to die. 

seriously, randy has got to get home so i have someone to tell these stories to. 

i have no one to talk to....

i saw on the news yesterday that the IRS was going to start communicating with us citizens via the internet instead of via the mail.  they said it was going to save the IRS 10 million dollars in postage.  my question is, if the IRS is operated by the government...and the post office is operated by the government....does anyone else see where i'm going with this?  i'm not trying to be a smart butt or anything, i just really want to know how it is that one government agency can charge another government agency 10 million dollars.  i'm sure it's a simple answer.  but it sure seems like it should all be going and coming the same place.  clearly this is why i'm not in charge....

anyway, all of my blogging is having an unforseen impact on my brain.  when i am in conversation with friends, i don't know who has read the blog and who has not.  i don't want to repeat myself with a boring story that they have already read, but i really have nothing else left to talk about.  i would hate for someone to have to stop me mid-sentence to say, "oh, i um, read the blog...you don't have to keep talking".  that would be so embarrassing.  and really, i don't think i could recover....conversationally speaking, that is.  it also affects things in my head that i have not blogged about.  for instance, i have actually stopped myself from telling randy something because i knew he would read about it later in the blog.  i'm left saving my even more mundane things for actual conversation, which ends up leaving me in akward silence more times than i am comfortable with.   but really, right now, with randy being gone, i can't count on getting to have actual conversations with real people.  the chances of that happening are slim to none, since i rarely leave the house, and so i'm going to have put myself out here....and blog....even though it may mean i have nothing to say later....should anyone want to talk to me...in real life.  moving on....

today i realized i was in a bad way when i got up, looked in the closet for something to wear, and actually got excited that the work out pants (that are too short and i have very few times actually worn to work out in) were clean.  it was even more sad that i was also excited about the work out jacket and tank top (that i slept in) putting the finishing touches on my day's ensemble....  fortunately, i didn't go anywhere except to drop hudson off and pick hudson up at school.....curb side.  i will most likely wear this "outfit" again tomorrow.  it really works for me.  or at least i have convinced myself that i can pull it off....

me, myself and i

-10 month olds do not like to be held down by a 2 year old checking to see if they have a poopy diaper.
-my 2 year old has a real knack for smelling a poopy diaper. 
-my 2 year old has a real knack for finding my stash of junior mints.
-i didn't get as many junior mints today as i would have liked...
-my kids are experts at coming up with deep conversations just before bed.
-my kids rarely get to bed on time...
-i get very annoyed at shopping carts that are hard to push and/or make lots of noise.
-i can't remember the last time i had a good shopping cart...
-a wal mart greeter mockingly told me "good luck" when i was trying to find a good shopping cart....
-i found the wal mart greeter to be just as annoying as the cart.
-we have soup for dinner whenever randy is gone.
-randy does not like soup for dinner.
-we have breakfast for dinner whenever randy is gone.
-randy does not like breakfast for dinner.
-they have hamburgers for dinner when i am gone.
-i do not like hamburgers.
-i don't think i'm ever gone....
-i can go days without ever watching tv.
-i can go days without running.
-my liver is no longer unhappy...for any of you who read the liver blog.
-babies clapping and dancing is pretty much the cutest thing ever.
-me clapping and dancing is pretty much the second cutest thing ever.
-i have a high opinion of my dancing.
-it's possible that i don't dance as well as i think i do..

the hotel room

this last weekend we were doing the normal traveling thing.  we were in a hotel as usual, but we had 2 separate rooms.  this happens from time to time, and it's always nice when it does.  it's nice because, well, there are 6 of us...and i'm pretty sure it's not hotel/motel legal when we are all in 1 room.   it's also nice because it's easier to get the two little kids to sleep when we don't have them in the same room.  those two have it out for us, of that i'm sure....  have i mentioned the spitting contests in the back seat that they have?  you can hardly see their dvd player screen....because it's covered in spit.  i'm not proud, i'm just sayin'.... and i don't know what the best way to clean it off is.  so, it sits there, all spitty like.  i'm getting sidetracked...

so last weekend, in the hotel, ella kept me up from 4:30 to 6:30 in the morning.  it was tiring, but she is a baby, i understand.  she may not have liked her new surroundings.  i won't hold it against  her....well, i didn't hold it against her once i got up and had coffee.  back to this past weekend.  (this past weekend being the one we just had, last weekend being the weekend from last week...sometimes there is confusion in our home as to what past, last, this coming and next weekend all really mean.  i say it right, others in our home do not.  we will leave it at that) ella went to sleep like a champ!  i was so proud of her!  of course everyone in the room had to go to sleep with her at 9:00 in the evening...as she does not like to see any light when she is going to sleep/sleeping.  anyway.....i was awakened at the same time, 4:30 in the morning.  but this time, it was olivia getting up to use the restroom.  she was very quiet, i was proud of her stealthness.  unfortunately, her time up didn't end there.  i quickly became irritated with her non-stealthness.  she tossed and she turned, and she turned and she tossed.  it was annoying and loud.  i was afraid she was going to wake up ella.  so i told her to be still.  about 15 minutes later she said, "mom" quietly.  i pretended to be asleep...just knowing she would leave it alone.  i couldn't believe it when she actually said, "MOM," louder.  "can i switch positions?"  to which i replied, "i know you didn't just ask me that".  she continued to toss, turn, and construct bed forts with pillows.  i laid there, kept awake by her constant moving, until the alarm went off at 6:30.  ella woke up at 7:30....not hearing a bit of the ordeal, having slept the entire night like the little princess that she is.  as a parent, we all know it's impossible to have a favorite child.  but i think......that perhaps..... possibly..... i might have, at 6:30 this morning,  had a favorite daughter..... and a not so favorite daughter.  no worries, i eventually forgave her.  but it was later in the day...much later.  like just an hour or so ago.....


i can't stay mad at her for very long...she's too sweet....

so, this morning, as i was getting ready for church, i had to iron my clothes.  i know, i know, this isn't at all like me...but, b/c i was in a hotel room, i couldn't just throw the clothes in the dryer for a few minutes.  back to my original thought.  why are ironing boards SO LOUD?????  it's impossible to iron secretly.  and sometimes, you need to do some secret ironing.  i just don't understand.  old ironing boards, new ironing boards....they're all SO LOUD!  it was the ironing board, btw, that woke ella up at 7:30.  who knows, she may have slept even longer...putting her even further in my good graces. 

also, i have a fever blister.  most assuredly brought on by lack of sleep....as i am very tired...from lack of sleep. 

dislikes/loves

i don't like it when i'm walking through the mall and they try to stop me to sell something.  i don't want you to rub my head with that weird thing that you just rubbed on someone else's head.  i don't want you to rub my neck, i don't want you to look at my nails, and i don't want you to flat iron my hair right here in the middle of the mall.  do you know i saw the guy that sells the flat iron actually ironing his gotee one day.  oh yes, please touch my hair with that flat iron you just used on your straggly gotee.  blech....  anyway, today i was at sams because i need a new phone.  mine is a piece of junk.  thank you samsung instinct, you are a sorry excuse for a phone.  i mean, we all know it isn't worn out.  i hardly use the stupid thing.  but i will go ahead and take this opportunity to mention that if you have received a text from me that looked like i was typing in russian...it is because i have no control over the letters that are typed.  i just send messages and hope that people can come up with an interpretation.

back to my being at sams looking at phones.  a lady working there had the pleasure of walking around selling makeup.  it was an all in one makeup kit that had everything one might need to completely re-apply their makeup while out and about.  it was fantastic!  if you care.  i don't...so i'm not the girl she was needing to try to sell something to.  i apply makeup once a day...on some days.  it can stay or it can not stay...i'm not re-applying.  now if she had been seilling lip gloss, that might be another story.  i do have an addiction to lip gloss.  another subject for another day.   anyway, what i didn't mention in the beginning of this story is what an incredible bad mood i was in.    i tried so hard to be nice...but mostly i just wanted to scream, "please don't stop me while i'm walking around sams!!!"  i couldn't fit that all-in-one make up kit in my purse if i wanted to.  my purse is full.  it's full of i don't even know what!  but it's heavy, and i can't fit any more in it!  plus, i'm also trying to carry around this diaper bag.  it has everying i think i might need, but not what i really do need, for a 10 month old and a 2 year old.  also, i'm carrying around the afore mentioned 10 month old and 2 year old.  the re-application of make up is really not a priority...i'm just sayin'....no worries, this is not what i said.  i smiled as sweetly as i could and simply said, "i'm not interested, thank you."

on the upside, it's state fair time!!!!!  i so love the texas state fair.  i cannot wait to go!  i love the food, the car exhibit, the food, the car exhibit.  it's pretty much all we do.  well, except for the booth where they show you all the awesome cookware.  i usually sit there for a while, by myself, dreaming of how great it would be to cook with these amazing pots and pans.   and how i'm sure if i had them, my food would most certainly taste better!  but then i snap back to reality and i get on with the real reason why i'm at the fair....to eat!!!  we have tried the fried peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, the fried snickers, the fried oreos, the fried coke, the chicken fried bacon.  fortunately, we really don't eat fried food the rest of the year.  and then when we are through with that, we eat cotton candy, frito chili pie, and corny dogs.  we always leave the fair feeling sick, saying that we are never going to eat that much again, and arguing about where we parked and how to get back to our car. 

out of words....

i think that quite possibly the best way for an 8 year old girl to spend her afternoon, is to spend it using her easy bake oven.  olivia was busy for hours!  of course there were only 5 cookies when she was finished....

my dearest olivia....she plans on opening her own bakery, you know...

griffin stayed much more focused in his 3 year old gymnastics class.  of course as i was getting him ready to go, i asked him, "are you going to gymnastics?"  to which he replied, "i go nymnastics with mommy?"  that made me feel bad.  i suppose he didn't notice me trying to keep up with him and manage olivia and ella at the same time last week.  he was just having fun....which made me wonder, what was going through his head from 9:45 to 10:30 that day?  i'm pretty sure he was giggling as hard on the inside as he was on the outside. 

they are only 2 once....and that is kind of sad....kind of....  geepers creepers i love this kid!  he's my lion.  and he is most certainly the king of his jungle.  plus, his hair looks like a mane when he wakes up.  :)

so i've been thinking a lot about what i'm going to do with all of my stuff when we move to africa.  i really don't want to take any of it with me, yet, i can't seem to part with it.  i'm pretty sure no one is going to volunteer to keep it for me....for crying out loud, i don't even want it.  why can i not part with my junk?!?! i have a problem....not like the kind of problem that would qualify  me for the show hoarders...but a problem nonetheless.  i do like to watch that show, as it makes me feel better about myself. 

well, i got to the end of this day and i have very few words left.  which is sad, because i said very little.  unfortunately, i said those few things over and over and over again.  no, you cannot have any lucky charms...we are out of lucky charms.  we don't have any lucky charms.  you ate all of the lucky charms.  mommy hasn't gone to the store to get more lucky charms.  stop trying to climb the gate to get into the kitchen, there are no lucky charms.  no, i cannot put lucky charms in that bowl.  i don't think you NEED lucky charms.  ella can't have lucky charms either.  there are NO lucky charms.    the really depressing thing about this is that i am not going to the store until sunday.  so i have to repeat this conversation tomorrow, saturday, and then again sunday....as i shop in the p.m. not the a.m.....  i also said, ella don't go in the bathroom.  no, no ella, we don't go in the bathroom.  please get out of the bathroom, ella.  griffin close the door so ella doesn't go in the bathroom.  hudson, close the door so ella doesn't go in the bathroom, olivia close the door so ella doesn't go in the bathroom.  repeat this paragraph about 8 more times and there's my day in a nutshell.  i'm going to bed now....



what a day....not really....

it's amazing to me how one event/appointment/situation can send your day into a tailspin....ok, well, maybe not a tailspin, but it can keep you from getting everything done that needs to be done.  this morning i had a doctor's appointment at 8 am.  my liver has been acting up.  i didn't know it was an unhappy liver until i had to have bloodwork done for our medical clearance to move to africa.  but yep, those late night drinking binges seem to have caught up with me.  randy had been warning me for years, but i just wouldn't listen.  anyway, i have to keep having bloodwork done to see what's up.  it's going to be akward if this leads us to an embarrassing disease and i just blogged about it.  nonetheless, i'll go on with my not that interesting story. i without question go to the most unfriendly doctor's office on the planet.  everyone that works there is miserable.  they make me want to say, "hey, i hate you just as much (or more) than you hate me, but can we not at least pretend to like each other?"  truly these people are very sad, angry, or some combination of the two.  and since i'm there to have bloodwork, i'm not any better.  i won't pretend that i am the ray of sunshine that they have all needed to see in their day.  i'm not.  i hate needles.  i strongly dislike all who poke me with the needles.  moving on.....    i ended up getting there a few minutes early, so i proceeded to look in their stacks of magazines.  their magazines, like their personalities, are completely dreadful.  off brand sports magazines and opera news were among the highlights.  yep, opera news.  ANYWAY....  this event set my whole day off.  it made it where i couldn't go running...which would have been like my 8th time this month, so it's clearly very important to me.  it also made it to where olivia and i didn't get started on homeschool until an hour or so later than normal. .... which made us not get finished in time for gymnastics, which made me not get the kitchen cleaned, which pushed me on over the edge to serve leftovers for dinner instead of cooking.   ok, ok, i was going to do that anyway, but still, the list goes on and on.  you will never get this 5 minutes of your life back...sorry....  oh, i was kidding about the drinking binges.... and i'm sure the doctor's office employees are delightful people....when they are not at work....